An INFJs (The Advocate) relationships have a depth that escapes easy categorization. With their unique blend of empathy and understanding, advocates have a special way of making their partners feel cared for and understood. An INFJ’s love is always genuine, and they don’t hold back from showing it.
One of the most uncommon MBTI personality types, the INFJ is a rare breed of human that enriches the lives of everyone they connect with. There is a good reason they are called Advocates, and they bring their unique traits not only to social causes but to dating and romance as well!
The Advocate Overview
While the Myers-Briggs personality type INFJ (The Advocate) is the rarest one, its impact on the world is undeniable. They have high ideals and strong principles and aren’t willing to just glide through life. Those with Advocate traits see success, not in terms of material possessions or social standing but rather as the pursuit of happiness, the alleviation of suffering, and contributing to a better society.
Advocates may have big dreams, but they are anything but daydreamers. Those with the INFJ trait value honesty and won’t rest until they’ve done what they consider right. Sincere to their very core, they go through life knowing what’s important to them and making it a point to never lose sight of that. It’s not about what the majority of others think is important. It’s about what they believe to be accurate based on their personal experience and understanding.
INFJs, maybe because of the rarity of their personality type, often feel a sense of uniqueness from other people. They are distinctively different because of their complex and intricate lives and endless search for meaning.
Advocates aren’t necessarily alone in feeling misinterpreted or in conflict with society, but that doesn’t mean they can’t experience social acceptance or intimate relationships.
The personality type is made up of these four character traits:
Advocates may feel out of sync with their surroundings, but it doesn’t diminish their resolve to improve the world. Those who take up causes like these tend to be concerned by injustice and motivated more by philanthropy than material gain. As a result, they are typically encouraged to utilize their gifts of empathy, creativity, and sensitivity to help others around them, making them an ideal romantic partner.
How INFJ Characteristics Apply to Romance and Dating
Advocates (INFJs) want meaningful connections with the people in their lives, and their romantic partnerships are no exception. Advocates are a creative, imaginative personality type, but they seldom settle for a relationship built on anything except genuine love.
Finding a partner who is a good fit may be difficult for Advocates. Many people get the impression that INFJs are too picky, and they indeed have high standards for the people around them. Being idealistic and striving for perfection, advocates may be driven to pursue an unattainable “perfect” partner or relationship.
The good news for Advocates is that their idealistic nature, when balanced with a healthy dose of reality, may actually improve their romantic relationships. Advocates are excellent romantic partners because they are open, kind, honest, and perceptive and take the time to learn about their partner’s innermost wants and needs.
Integrity is important to INFJs, or Advocates, so they become defensive when others attempt to convince them to change their minds or accept ideas they fundamentally disagree with. Consequently, Advocate personalities look for partners who get them without trying to change them.
Advocates are often in tune with their true desires and conscious of the things that are really important to them. This enables them to look beyond superficial attraction to determine whether they are compatible with another person. Their self-awareness skills are essential in helping INFJs to steer clear of inauthentic romantic partnerships that lack common values.
Once an Advocate has found a partner who satisfies their demands, they do not take them for granted. Instead, they try to better themselves as individuals while strengthening their relationships with their partners.
Advocates’ relationships can benefit from this to the extent of intensity and sincerity that most people can only hope to achieve in their romantic lives.
Advocates often want their companions to share their view that love isn’t a quiet feeling but a chance to develop and learn. So, those looking for a casual hookup or casual relationship ought to look elsewhere. Advocates are driven by emotions that go far beyond the moment, and they find happiness in seeing the growth of a meaningful connection over time.
Tips for Keeping an Advocate Interested
Due to their introverted nature, Advocates are likely to be hesitant when it comes to public displays of love for fear of being judged. Once they feel comfortable with you, INFJs reveal their genuine nature and can be quite affectionate. If you’re in the beginning stages of a relationship with one, do not be all touchy-feely with them when out and about. We repeat– IXNAY ON THE PDA.
But, once you are in a relationship with an INFJ, they will be less concerned about showing affection in front of others. In fact, like most introverts, they prefer to spend time in their own brain, but being touched pulls them back to reality. A hug is just what they need to snap out of it and reconnect with their partner.
As INFJs are naturally empathic, they are drawn to those who are generous with their time and energy. INFJs rely on their auxiliary function of Extraverted Feeling to connect with others, which means they value those who can do so in a considerate and empathetic manner. An overwhelming majority of Advocates want to make a difference in the world, so they tune in to those who are working toward the same objective and form connections with those who provide constructive contributions from a place of empathy.
The capacity for holding emotional space is a trait highly valued by INFJs, and it goes hand in hand with being compassionate.
The ability to have others acknowledge the INFJ’s emotional needs is attractive to them because of the Advocate’s tendency to take on other people’s feelings. This can be done by carefully listening, knowing when intrusive questions are inappropriate, or recognizing and respecting an INFJ’s desire for quiet time alone.
Being empathetic also entails making an effort to put oneself in another person’s position. If you aren’t an empath, dating an INFJ is not for you. They are turned off and hurt by unnecessarily critical people who make judgments about others.
Things to Consider When Dating an INFJ
INFJs have a deep need for their partners to share in their emotional and spiritual lives, as they value more than simply having an intimate relationship itself, the idea of fusing with another person on every level–mental, physical, and spiritual. Advocates bring intensity to every aspect of their lives; their love lives are no exception.
An INFJ’s concern for others is deep, and they will choose a partner who shares their curiosity in the world.
Although Advocates are not indifferent to the material world, they do not base their self-worth on material possessions or financial status. They are not looking for a partner preoccupied with superficial things like brands, wealth, and social standing, and it’s unlikely that someone shallow and fixated on material stuff will remain on an INFJ’s good side for very long.
If your partner is an INFJ, it’s detrimental to your relationship to lie to them. They have a great perspective, sensitivity, intuition, and an uncanny ability to see through dishonesty, no matter how convincing you believe your lies to be. Any trust you’ve earned is completely destroyed when you are caught lying to the Advocate. Their reaction might be to end the relationship and isolate themselves completely.
Although it may seem like anger on the surface, this response is an INFJ that hides the intense betrayal they experience when a partner lies to them.
INFJ Compatibility with Other Myers Briggs Personalities
When it comes to romantic compatibility, INFJs get along best with other types who use similar thought patterns. As if our cognitive abilities are languages, we don’t need to explain ourselves to others who share them. Patterns and interpersonal bonds are INFJs’ native tongues.
ENFJ – The Protagonist
The combination of ENFJ and INFP types yields connections of unity and trust. These two are equally invested in building relationships that benefit both parties because they’re both Intuitive Feelers. When two INFPs or ENFJs meet, they become inseparable due to their shared ideals.
ENTJ – The Commander
At first glance, INFPs, who are known for their introversion and tendency toward daydreaming, and ENTJs, who are known for their drive and enthusiasm, seem to have little in common. But they have a strong connection because they desire to make the world a better place and fulfill their intellectual curiosity. When the softness of the INFP is paired with the directness of the ENTJ, the two could produce a sense of safety that is hard to find in other pairings.
ESFJ – The Consul
The bond between an INFP and an ESFJ is strong and complex, based on a shared value of individuality and independence. Both are feeling types, which makes them very empathic, so they compliment one another well in terms of emotions. The INFP’s tendency for individuality and the ESFJ’s commitment to practicality can add up to a great romantic relationship.
Least Compatible Personality Types
Most INFJs find it difficult to get along with those whose cognitive functions are diametrically opposed to their own, and these are the people they are least likely to date. Having two individuals in a room who are so fundamentally different from one other is a recipe for disaster.
ESTJ – The Executive
These two personalities often clash due to their different worldviews. The practical, matter-of-fact ESTJ may not like the idealistic, gentle INFJ and their propensity to daydream. They also handle conflict differently—INFJs avoid confrontation and resolve it through compassion and empathy, while ESTJs prefer realistic answers and discussion.
INTJ – The Architect
While INFPs and INTJs share a common trait of introversion, there are other ways in which these two personality types vary that might lead to conflict. The INTJ’s practical outlook frequently clashes with the INFP’s tendency for empathy.
ISTJ – The Logistician
There is little favorable ground between an ISTJ and INFP in terms of compatibility. Neither the ISTJ nor the INFP is very good at getting their point across to others, and they are both introverts, preferring to be alone. Their tendency toward introversion and passivity indicates they may bottle up their emotions and begin to drift apart before any real connection takes hold.
Final Thoughts About Dating an Advocate
A deep spiritual connection is what INFJs are after, so they look for a partner who can connect with them on a visceral level and is willing to offer and accept lots of love and affirmation. An ideal relationship for an INFJ requires a strong emotional connection and significant intellectual compatibility.
An INFJ values honesty and openness in their partner, as well as the ability to talk about how they feel. When an INFJ senses anything is off, such as secrecy or dishonesty, they pay close attention to it and will not hesitate to end a relationship. You have been warned!