So I’m going to do this one a little differently, folks. Instead of imaginary scenarios you may or may not relate to or annoying metaphors you wondered how I came up with–I’m going to get real with you. And by real, I mean personal. Nice to meet you, my name is Megan, and I’m a Virgo. I’m thirty-three now, but when I was twenty, I fell in love with a man we will call L–for Libra.
It’s highly unlikely he will read this since he never believed in astrology so let’s dive in head first in and unpack this relationship. [And if you do happen to read this L, do me a favor and text me with a rating of how accurately I described both of us. (Mild spoiler alert: eleven years later we live in different states and occasionally text, but we are on good terms. That may change after I write this personal exposé of our relationship, but I’ll do my best to be honest and vulnerable even with a dissection of my own flaws here.)
Just a side note: I’ve been through five breakups in my life. If you’ve been through one (which you probably have if you’re on this blog) you know they suck. Regardless of whether you do the break up or are the one broken up with, your normal emotions are extra heightened. I’m already a sensitive and emotional person and I’ll be honest, I do not handle breakups well. They’re usually dragged out and difficult for both parties. And I’m always amused that when things are coming to an end, every single guy has said the same thing to me: You’re going to write about me, aren’t you?
My response every single time? ‘It’s not like I’m Taylor Swift.’ Then they inevitably cross their arms and frown, because any man who dates me for even a short period knows that I’m a full-fledged Swifty and that woman is Queen. And they knew this day was coming.
(For the real goods–check out my Virgo and Virgo article, where I dissect the worst relationships I’ve ever experienced. And If we’ve recently gone on a date and you googled me and found this blog, then let this be a warning to you, and in general, to anyone dating literally anyone: if you don’t treat someone well, they will talk about it. Some just more publicly than others.)
Now, let’s explore my relationship with Mister L.
Most people find an interest in astrology because they want to learn more about themselves. ‘Please,’ you beg, ‘tell me how I’m a rockstar, and while everyone wants to love me.’
I’ll be upfront and honest here: I’ve done enough therapy to learn the benefits of self-reflection. No one is perfect–not even Virgos, like me, who yearn for perfection in everything they do.
Virgos are earth signs, mutable, ruled by the planet Mercury, and represented by the symbol, the—ahem–virgin.
Earth signs are grounded, seek stability, and often thrive in routines and habits. However, if you combine the stiffness of an earth sign with its mutable nature, you get an interesting combination.
Mutable signs are flexible, and adaptable, and enjoy mixing the old in with the new. Mercury is the smallest planet in the solar system but also the closest to the sun, meaning signs represented by this planet may appear as if they can fade into the background but often have a fiery spirit.
Mercury is all about communication, thoughts, and self-expression, which makes Virgos external processors who have a tendency to overthink, especially when it comes to their relationships.
I’ll start with addressing the basics of Libra in an astrological sense here before connecting it to my relationship with L.
Every sign has an element: air, fire, earth, water. They’re either cardinal, mutable, or fixed. They each have a symbol and are ruled by a planet.
Libras are air, cardinal signs, represented by their symbol, the scales, and ruled by Venus.
If you think about how oxygen breathes life into everything, you can get an understanding of how air signs function. They can be friends with any sign in the Zodiac, but they can struggle with feeling invisible and can get lost in their dreams, unsure of how to fully keep their feet on the ground.
Cardinal represents initiative and beginnings, the start of new things, but these signs struggle with their desire for stability and interest in change.
One moment, they can be living their life, and the next, they do a complete 180, changing professions, dropping friends, and moving across the country.
The scales, meanwhile, symbolize Libra’s desire for harmony and balance, which connects to the planet Venus, which rules love and harmony in relationships, something Libra is always searching for.
Virgo and Libra in Friendship
Of all the men I’ve dated, L is the only one I can actually write about as a friend. He was my third boyfriend, and although we didn’t start dating until I was twenty, I first met him when I was sixteen. He lived down the street from me, and my best friend introduced us.
I’ll admit, I was immediately smitten, but these feelings were not mutual, meaning if I wanted to hang out with L, I had to accept that we would just be friends. He was funny, attractive, and unlike anyone I’d ever met.
In true Libra form, he had a lofty nature and was a daydreamer, always searching for the next adventure. By sixteen, he’d lived in eight cities and three countries, and although he pursued change and freedom, he found his balance in the stability of his family and friends.
Friend Date: Mani/Pedi or Streaking on the Beach at Midnight?
At sixteen, I was much more shy than I am now, and although I still have introverted tendencies, back then, I didn’t like stepping outside my comfort zone.
It’s hard to say if he and I would have been friends if I didn’t have a crush on him because, thinking back, his friendship definitely tested me, but for that reason, it also intrigued me.
Like most Libras, L was extroverted and social and was a floater, someone who could be friends with a variety of different friend groups. Meanwhile, I had a small group of friends I felt safe around.
When it came to hanging out, L would drive us around the city with no destination in mind. Like a true Libra, he could never make up his mind. He had big dreams of exploring the world, and yet when we hung out, he couldn’t pick a single thing to do. This often led to us just driving around and sitting in parking lots.
Hey, before the iPhone, that’s what teenagers did when they wanted to get out of the house. I didn’t mind. When it comes to socializing, we Virgos are more about communication and connection than action. L, a cardinal sign, would always come up with ideas, but like most Libra’s, he was happy as long as the surrounding people were, too.
Friend-Fection: Keep It on the Dl or Text ‘Love Ya Biatch?’
I’m an external processor. What does that mean exactly? When I’m frustrated about something, I need to talk about it right then and there and analyze it out loud at great lengths from every possible angle.
My friends often describe my texts as essays. I wish I were kidding.
Libras, on the other hand, communicate through actions instead of words. But if there’s one thing us two signs have in common with communication, it’s the tendency to shut down when we feel pushed into a corner.
And this happened A LOT in my friendship with L. With my crush on him, I already stumbled through half my words. I struggled to express myself, and with that being an innate need of mine, I often resorted to an uncomfortable silence, something that L would match whenever the conversation turned serious.
L, like all Libras, avoided conflict and confrontation of any kind, and that includes talking about personal issues connected to our friendship or his personal life.
We hung out A LOT, and yet he was still one of the most private people I knew.
Dating Advice: Send His Name or Send His Social?
Virgos and Libras will both fall quickly and hard when it comes to meeting people they like. That was definitely the case for me when I met him, but because he didn’t feel the same–which, by the way, he never talked about, it was just obvious–I couldn’t express this to him.
Remember, Mercury, the planet of communication, rules us Virgos. If I couldn’t talk to him, I was going to talk to someone. Even to this day, my friends know literally everything about my dating life, even if I’ve only gone on one date with someone. I can’t hold it in, nor do I like to. And because L was also my friend, I needed to vent this energy somewhere; otherwise, I was going to end up telling him, and I already knew how that was going to end.
Libras, on the other hand, while they do get giddy with new partners, they’re less likely to express their excitement until they have tangible proof that this could be something. That’s the balance in them, not expressing how something affects them until they have a valid cause.
Meanwhile, we Virgos can’t shut off our brains, and if we’re not careful, we can spiral into the world of what-ifs without anything actually causing it.
Virgo and Libra in Love
Fast forward four years. I’m a senior in college. L is living in another country. Randomly, he reached out to me on Facebook, and gradually we started talking. Phone calls, text, facebook messages.
For about three months we developed an online friendship and not only did my crush return, but I realized something different about L: he now had a crush on me too.
And when it comes to those early stages of love for Libras and Virgos, they dive head first, often into the shallow water, with blinders blocking all of their logic.
The First Date: Roses or KFC?
When it comes to dating and our relationship, Libras will be the one to come up with date ideas, and Virgos, being a mutable sign, will just fine going with the flow of whatever comes their way.
Our first date happened at an airport. Literally. He was flying in from this other country, and I picked him up. It was the first time I’d seen him in four years, and although I suspected this crush was mutual, I didn’t know until I saw him.
Like straight out of a terrible Lifetime movie, I made him a sign, which I waved in the air before sprinting to him, jumping into his arms, where we shared our first kiss. It was cheesy, vomit-worthy, and still one of my happiest memories.
Love Language Do’s and Don’ts: A Dealbreaker?
Remember what I said about these two as friends? They shut down when they don’t feel heard. And if that doesn’t describe my relationship with L, I’m not sure what else could.
Virgos crave communication in all forms: words of affirmation, and physical touch. They need to be reminded that all is well, and if they catch the vibe that something isn’t, well, they will talk about it. And talk about it. And then talk some more. Libras, on the other hand, despite conflict at all costs.
The minute I wanted to talk about an issue, L was out the door. Literally, he ran away from me more than once when the conversation turned serious. I blame part of it on us being kids, but I blame the rest of it on the fact that when push came to shove, as much as we thought we were in love, we were not compatible.
Communication styles differ for every sign, but each also values communication differently. I needed it. L did not.
And because we didn’t know how to talk about things, it led to resentment from both of us, unreasonable jealousy, and lots and lots of fights. To put it simply, once the honeymoon stage was over around month one, we spent the next year and a half fighting one moment, solving nothing, and making up out of pure exhaustion.
It was not my most toxic relationship, but that doesn’t mean it was healthy, either.
Sexy Time: Slow and Steady or Chompin’ at the Bit?
Because my mother is going to read this, I’m just going to cut to the chase. Libras enjoy affection and pursue it willingly.
Virgos prefer connecting with someone before they share this side of themselves with another person.
Buuuuut… if these two signs happened to be friends before they dated, it’s likely they didn’t wait long to share some new, naked experiences.
Put it this way, there are bigger issues in this relationship than what they do behind closed doors.
There’s good and bad in everything and everyone. If there’s one thing life–and astrology–has taught me, some people bring out the best in others, while some bring out the worst.
L and I occasionally talk, and by occasional, I mean rare, a more random happy birthday or Merry Christmas. Although he broke up with me and I was devastated for a long time, I can officially say that we were not meant to be together.
And although we’re both older, I think if we ever ended up back together, it would end the same.
I’d never hate him, but I’ll never love him again, and while I think that Libras and Virgos have more potential as friends than lovers, even a platonic relationship will have its issues unless both signs understand their differences and make an effort to compromise for the other person.
- 1- Get AWAY from me
- 2- Who are you again?
- 3- I tolerate you
- 4- You’re pretty cool
- 5- Let’s gooooo!
What if I Love This Person?
Put it this way. L–if you’re reading this, I’m really glad we dated. I’m also really glad we broke up.