If you are the life of the party, even when there is no party, chances are you are an ESFP. Not sure what that means? Allow us to explain why this Myers-Briggs personality type thrives in any social setting. After all, this personality is known as “The Entertainer” for good reasons!
The Entertainer Overview
The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) classifies individuals according to their preferences for introversion, extroversion, sensing, intuition, thinking, and emotion, as well as judging and perceiving. These qualities characterize a person’s manner of experiencing and engaging with their surroundings.
When you choose one letter from each set, you get a four-letter answer, such as ESFP or INFJ, that describes your personality type. The letters “ESFP” stand for:
We will closely examine the ESFP personality type, its social interactions regarding relationships, and how they navigate dating apps!
Those classified as ESFPs are commonly social butterflies and the center of attention because of their charisma, joie de vivre, and energy. While the ESFP-A and ESFP-T are the two most common subtypes, we’re only going to cover the core traits shared by all ESFPs and their approach to romance and dating.
How ESFP Characteristics Apply to Romance and Dating
Those that exude self-assurance and aren’t afraid to pursue their goals are attractive to ESFPs. They are drawn to and thrive in the company of those who radiate confidence. While ESFPs are drawn to communicators, they also like a dash of mystery in their relationships. The ESFP is interested in getting to know someone who doesn’t reveal everything about themselves right away.
It makes them curious about the individual as well as upping the appeal of the potential object of their affection. While this doesn’t imply that ESFPs are adrenaline junkies, they do like having a balance between the humdrum and fun activities.
As they like meeting new people, ESFPs can prefer casual dating while they are younger. They thrive on making new connections and having new experiences, leading to the misconception that they are fickle and restless. But they are casually dating for a purpose, not to jump from date to date–meeting new people is the ESFP’s way of finding out what they’re looking for in a romantic companion.
Entertainers are outgoing, energetic, and uninhibited people who enjoy every minute of life to the fullest. With so much vitality and enthusiasm, it stands to reason that they put everything into their romantic interactions.
For those who identify as ESFPs, romantic relationships aren’t something to be invested in for the long term or mapped out in detail; instead, they’re exciting, ever-changing, and meant to be fun. But once the thrill wears off, it’s gone for good.
Regardless of yesterday’s declarations of love, entertainers reevaluate their circumstances and commitments; if their feelings change, then it’s over, and people with an Entertainer personality type have zero problems with cutting ties.
Tips for Keeping Entertainers Interested
As ESTPs have difficulty processing feelings, a partner who is always demanding validation could quickly wear them down. Moreover, those hoping to woo an ESTP personality should do so by adding an air of mystery to the connection. Don’t overshare or trauma dump on an ESTP–they will head for the hills.
When dating, ESTPs will look for someone who shares their passion for exploration—they want to be in relationships with people who can provide them with a steady stream of exciting new experiences. Don’t be dull or risk-averse; you won’t even get a second glance from an Entrepreneur.
Things to Consider When Dating an ESFP
While ESFPs have a reputation for being untrustworthy and fickle, this usually isn’t the case. Although ESFPs may enjoy the occasional fling and may not be ready for a long-term commitment when they’re younger, they can commit to a partner.
Since ESFPs are looking for a meaningful relationship, they won’t accept a person who isn’t their ideal partner. When ESFPs find themselves in a serious relationship with someone they love, they tend to obsess over every detail of the connection, which can be overwhelming to their other half. But their heart is always in the right place! To an ESFP, nothing is more important than their partner’s happiness, and they will go to extremes to make sure that their partner is happy.
ESFP Compatibility with Other Myers Briggs Personalities
When it comes to compatibility, ESFPs and those who live in the now rather than plan for the future tend to get along rather well. This is because ESFPs are spontaneous and want to act in the moment. This makes them most compatible with ISFJs and ISTJs, two other sensory (S) personality types.
ISFJ – The Defender
Couples made up of an extroverted ESFP and an introspective ISFJ tend to get along quite well. Those with these traits make sympathetic companions and are constantly on the lookout for ways to better the world, whether by supporting a friend or giving back to society.
Several factors contribute to the fact that ESFPs and ISFJs get along famously. They are similar in their optimistic view of life and their appreciation of close relationships, and they are each committed to doing what it takes to keep the relationship strong.
When paired with an ISFJ, the ESFP’s extrovert nature and tendency toward verbal displays of emotion endear them to their more reserved partner. An ISFJ is more comfortable behind the scenes, so they will be okay with their partner getting all the attention in any social setting.
Both are demonstrative and comfortable expressing their feelings in front of others, AKA PDA. An ESFP’s inability to focus on a single activity is made worse by the fact that they are always in search of entertainment. An ISFJ can start encouraging an ESFP to be more reliable in keeping their word, which can keep the Entertainer grounded.
ISTJ – The Logistician
Those with ISTJ personality traits are more comfortable with ESFPs who are reliable and consistent. When an ISTJ makes an effort to become more emotionally open, ESFPs are more trusting of them. When an ISTJ is considerate of others’ emotions and perspectives, ESFPs are far more likely to sense a connection with them.
People with ISTJ personality traits are logical, responsible, single-minded, and reserved. Due to their inability to effectively express their emotions and empathize with others who do, people with these traits often give the impression that they are emotionally distant. ESFP personality types can get ISTJs to be more open with their feelings, making these two types compatible in the right circumstances.
INFP – The Mediator
Loving, sensitive, and emotionally available individuals like the ESFP and the INFP may connect with one another deeply. On the other hand, they express their feelings quite differently from one another. Introverted and intuitive people (INFPs) are the kind to keep their true emotions locked up, particularly after being hurt, only to let them spill over in an awkward display.
Expressive and thoughtful ESFPs may have difficulty understanding such behavior but will help the ISTJ through it. So while they have their differences, each partner understands the importance of the other and is willing to be empathetic and helpful while in a relationship.
Least Compatible Personality Types
Now that we have established who ESFPs are more likely to click with, let’s explore what personality types are least compatible with the life of the party and should probably turn down an invite when asked to the soiree.
INTP – The Logician
The ESFP and INTP personality types are so diametrically opposed that a healthy romantic connection between them is unlikely to last.
INTPs are deep thinkers who are notoriously private and have a hard time expressing their emotions. A partnership with a spontaneous and extroverted ESFP who doesn’t hold back from expressing their feelings might lead to severe arguments due to any of these reasons.
ENTJ – The Commander
It’s unsurprising that an ENTJ, aka the Commander, could not be a good match for an Entertainer. Independence is highly valued by ESFPs, and they are usually content to take things as they come.
Conversely, ENTJs are attentive, intuitive, and analytical. They like to think deeply about complex subjects versus just chit-chatting with others. Also, an ENTJ can be forceful and vocal in their opinions, which may be too much for a sensitive ESFP to handle. ESFPs and ENTJs may have a lot to teach each other if they can put aside their differences and work together, but as friends–not in a romantic relationship.
ISFJ – The Defender
It’s common for ESFPs and ISFJs to have opposite priorities when it comes to getting things done and making the most of their time. Your ISFJ partner is always looking forward, whereas you like to live in the now. Most of the time, ISFJs are hard at work while The Entertainers are scanning the horizon for exciting new possibilities. Tensions arise when your focus on the here-and-now contrasts with their expectations of the future.
The desire for regularity, structure, and order is lower in ESFPs than in ISFJs, which is a second way in which the two personality types differ. Compared to the ISFJ, the ESFP is likelier to choose a more impromptu and spontaneous way of living. Although ISFJs benefit greatly from predictability and regularity, ESFPs may feel stifled by such rigidity. You may have constant arguments about issues like cleanliness, timeliness, and tolerance for breaking social norms.
Note: Type theory gives a decent idea of which kinds would fit ESFPs better, but you should never cast anyone aside as a possible match just because of their type.
Final Thoughts About Dating an Entertainer
ESFPs are often any group’s outgoing, talkative, and popular members. As a result of their endearing personality traits, they quickly gain the confidence and friendship of others around them, and they are extremely fun to date but hard to keep–unless they are ready to settle down with “the one.”