Have you ever heard the term secondhand embarrassment? Here’s an example: you’re out to brunch with a group of your friends for some good old Sunday Funday. The champagne is flowing, the chicken and waffles are crisp, and the conversation is packed with laughter–until the vibe changes.
There’s a handful of couples in your group of seven, but two of them have a bit of a reputation. They get along, until, suddenly, well, they don’t. It’s not even the alcohol, although that doesn’t help. It’s just them. The slightest disagreement sets them off, and then it’s a downward spiral into chaos. This time the argument that started their obnoxiously loud bickering? Which is better for waffles: agave or honey?
From an outside perspective, it’s very obvious these two are toxic. In fact, they don’t even seem to like each other, yet they’re blindly convinced that this is real love. Their very public display of emotional turmoil has silenced your table and the ones nearby. Witnessing it, your cheeks flush with warmth, your chest tightening. You want to look away, but like an oncoming car crash, you’re afraid even to blink, or you may miss what’s about to happen. Your best friend, seated beside you, grabs your hand, eyes widening. Their silent look is transparent: ‘you seein’ this? It’s happening again.’
It’s so cringe-worthy, slightly annoying, and yet entertaining, all at the same time. That’s a secondhand embarrassment for you. So Aries and Virgo, where do you two fall in this scenario? Well, as friends, you’re the two watching the show unfold in all its glory, knowing that if your friend even so much as smiles, you’re going to burst out laughing. And as lovers… well, yep, you guessed it. You’re that couple.
To understand how you two may have gotten to this point–in both friendship and love–it’s important to consider how you, Aries perceive new people who enter your life. Your impulsivity and your interest in adventure mean that you’ll never turn down new friends. The problem with this? Your intensity can be strong for some signs, and they will write you off before they really have given you a chance. This doesn’t bother you. You’re convinced if people leave your life then it’s for a reason. But when someone stays, it piques your interest. And when they listen–well, then that’s a huge plus, because after all, you like to hear yourself talk. When you meet a person you click with, you will fall hard and fast, in both friendship and love, convinced you’ve found someone capable of keeping up with you.
And here you come in, Virgo, the sign who loves to listen. With the start of a new relationship, platonic or not, conversation and connection is everything to you. As an earth sign, that’s a groundedness to you, a stability that many signs find refreshing. When you ask questions about someone, it’s not for show, you genuinely want to get to know them. You’re not surprised when people spill their secrets to you. You often bond best with those signs who prefer to go straight into the deep. Other, more guarded signs, however, will often skim over your surface, taken aback by your interest in them. While you may perceive them as superficial, they’ll probably see you as overly curious. You may get to know them eventually, as you’re a patient one, Virgo, but only if your friendship or relationship can develop into something real and of value.
Aries and Virgo in Friendship
For you, Virgo, Aries will instantly spark your fire as a potential friend. Their directness is something you appreciate, and your bond will start instantly, mainly because you, Virgo, won’t back down from the bluntness Aries brings. If anything, you’ll appreciate it. Aries, with friends, you appreciate someone who can keep up with your spontaneity and impulsiveness, both in conversation and in your adventures, and Virgo is just that. While Aries gets bored faster than a Virgo, a Virgo enjoys experiencing new things, and this similarity in your values, combined with the depth of your conversation has the potential for this to become a lifelong friendship.
Friend Date: Mani/Pedi or Streaking on the Beach at Midnight?
If this is a new friendship, the two of you will learn quickly that you share an interest in taking the route less traveled. Aries is used to coming up with fun ideas that most Zodiac signs will turn down, and it will surprise them when Virgo has a few plans of their own. Once the two of you have established a baseline of communication, nothing is off the table. Aries won’t be afraid to express themselves, and Virgo knows they can always talk about anything bothering them. Once that trust between you grows, adventures to the beach will develop into road trips across the country. There will be few dull moments between the two of you, and even if you’re quiet, you’ll find a comfort in silence that not all friendships will understand.
Friend-Fection: Keep It on the Dl or Text ‘Love Ya Biatch?’
Virgos, while being good listeners, also enjoy a platform to express themselves. Talking about any disagreements is important to you, Virgo, and although Aries is much more keen to sweep things under the rug, they will give you the benefit of the doubt, because they value your friendship and understand your differences. Aries will express their feelings–be it frustration or adoration–quickly and to the point, and then they are onto the next adventure you’ve planned. Aries is much quicker to forgive and forget, while Virgo will always forgive but usually won’t forget. Aries must understand Virgo’s need to discuss personal feelings should a disagreement arise, while Virgo needs to remember that Aries will have the conversation once, but then they’re ready to move on.
Dating Advice: Send His Name or Send His Social?
The two of you have drastically different perspectives on dating. Aries enjoys the changes, the impulsivity of a new match, and the potential that could unfold. Virgo would rather grab a drink with close friends or host a game night than date. For you, Virgo, time is valuable, and dating is a gamble. You’d rather know there will be a connection before you meet up, and for that reason, you’ll do as much googling as possible to figure out if you’ve made the right choice agreeing to drink with a complete stranger. Aries won’t even ask their date’s last name until they’ve gone on at least three dates and know there’s potential. If Virgo makes it to the date, they’ll be asking who their date voted for and if they went to church growing up before the second drink. It’s a difference that works in your friendship and what you find amusing in the other–but it’s also what will be the downfall if the two of you decide to take it to the next level.
Aries and Virgo in Love
So how did you get here? You’re just trying to enjoy brunch, and yet instead, you’re arguing about the ethical qualities of using bees for their honey… even though you’re pretty convinced that this fancy brunch place is not using honey straight from the beehive as advertised. You hated couples like this. So how did you get here? Well, nine times out of ten in this kind of pairing, you two started as friends. Your differences seemed funny then, amusing even. And you got along so well. You love them; you’re convinced of it. It worked so well as friends. So this has to be real, love… Right? Let’s see how we got here.
The First Date: Roses or KFC?
Whether this was a random matchup or a late-night left swipe on a dating app, you’re hooked within the first five minutes. It doesn’t even matter what you’re doing. Your conversations will drown everything else out. This is even worse if you’re already friends… mainly because the awkwardness you expected to feel by taking it another step is just non-existent. In fact, it’s the obvious. If you’re strangers, there’s an instant click here, a connection between the two of you… unfortunately, you don’t realize that you two would be better off as friends. And if you were already friends, then you’re probably here because a physical attraction has been simmering, an inkling of a thought… What if?
A piece of advice? That nervousness was there for a reason because deep down, you haven’t stopped to consider if it’s worth sacrificing your friendship (spoiler alert: IT’S NOT). Instead, you let the horns of your hormones take the wheel, and you’ve decided to ask each other out. Of course, it’s going to go great, and you’re going to get along. You were friends yesterday, dammit! The date’s wrapping up, and now the inevitable is on both of your minds. You inch closer to each other, eyes drifting toward each other’s lips.
Don’t do it. Don’t kiss. Aaaaand… it’s too late. Even worse, because the kiss is better than you expected, and now you’ve completely forgotten that an hour ago, this might be a bad idea. Don’t worry, you’ll probably figure it out eventually… maybe. But at that point, you’ll be too deep to stop now.
Love Language Do’s and Don’ts: A Dealbreaker?
Regardless of whether you two started as friends or met as strangers, this is where the issues in your relationship will arise. The reassurance Virgo craves is easy for Aries to give–when you are friends. But when this becomes more, Aries can find this trait exhausting. When Virgos feel they aren’t being understood, they will go to great lengths to repeat themselves to make sure they get their point across. Words of affirmation are incredibly important to them for this reason. As friends, Virgos will understand Aries’ need to only talk about things once. But with love, Virgo, often an overthinker, expects their partner to give them that emotional support. Instead, blunt Aries will close that door. For the same reason they get bored, they get annoyed when things repeat themselves, and this time, their directness will be more hurtful to Virgo than amusing.
Sexy Time: Slow and Steady or Chompin’ at the Bit?
Don’t be fooled–just because the Virgo’s symbol is the Virgin, doesn’t mean you, my friend, are strolling into the bedroom with a halo hovering above you. With intimacy, it’s less about your mutual interest in the act and more about how you both decide to go about it. Virgo, with sex, you’re not opposed to one-night stands, but you need to feel some level of connection to the other person, and you often find that your physical attraction is heightened when you have just that. If this person was your friend before your first time, then the physical component will come naturally, if maybe a little awkwardly. It will be enough to keep you two together because you haven’t yet seen how your differences work in a friendship, but not with love.
If you two are new partners, with no prior friendship, then this can unfold a little differently. Patience is as important to you, Virgo, as feeling comfortable with the person you’re with. Aries is too invested in the present moment to think about more than where to step in the dark. While Virgo has already mentally–and physically–prepared themselves for the fun, Aries stumbles into the room, the decision as last minute as when they asked you on this date. Aries, some signs love your ‘fly by the seat of your pants’ attitude in the bedroom, with said Virgo, it will have the opposite effect. Virgo wants to be wooed. You’ll attempt this, because… well, you’ve gotten this far. But Aries, don’t be surprised if you attempt to sweep Virgo off their feet and end up tripping on your jeans in the process.
Your friendship is one for the books. Someone you call daily, who you ask for advice and go on adventures with. As long as blunt Aries can understand Virgo’s need for reassurance and vice versa, then this friendship will last a lifetime. If there’s any level of physical attraction, please heed my advice: For the sake of your friendship–and for the sanity of all your mutual friends–don’t do it.
- 1- Get AWAY from me
- 2- Who are you again?
- 3- I tolerate you
- 4- You’re pretty cool
- 5- Let’s gooooo!
What if I Love This Person?
Do yourself a favor and Google ‘the sunk cost fallacy.’