A ram and a sea goat meet by a cliffside. I know what you’re thinking: What the hell is a sea-goat? Just go with it, okay? So in this hypothetical, do they get along? Become fast friends, high-five hooves? Or does one shove the other off the cliff where they tumble down to the rocks below? To give you an idea of how this interaction may play out, let’s pretend for a second that this is just a regular goat (the non-sea variety). Did you know that goats and rams, while appearing very similar, actually belong to genetically different groups? Their horns are different; goats have hair, rams have fur… you get the point.
And while it is possible to keep them near each other in a pen, they do not hang out. So, while they may stand on this cliffside together, it’s more likely that they will pass each other in different directions without even so much of a snort hello. Unless one asks the other out. Then someone’s going over that cliff. You’re probably wondering why I’m spewing Animal Planet facts on a dating blog… Well, if you’ve learned anything so far, every sign has a symbol, and for these two: the Aries is the ram, and the Capricorn is the sea goat.
Like the ram, you Aries, are headstrong and stubborn. You speak your mind without a care in the world. And if it leads to arguments, well, bring it on. You’re more than happy to engage. You don’t go searching for conflict, but if it falls into your lap, you’ll play with it like a child plays with an electric train. It’s fun until it breaks. But unlike a toddler, you don’t cry. You get back up and go look for something more interesting to interact with. Now if that train ends up running over your foot, however… oh, world, beware. A tantrum is coming. It’ll be short and intense, but when it passes, you Aries, will act like it never even happened.
You forgive and forget the wrongs of others. What’s this? Do they want an apology from you for yelling? Hah. Never gonna happen.
You, my peaceful little Buddha, are as down to earth as the symbol of your sign, the mythical little sea goat. You have a perfectly balanced schedule you follow to a tee. Mornings are spent on the shore watching the crabs scuttle, and in the afternoon, you’re diving in the sea, looking for that school of dolphins you saw last week. You won’t say hello, of course. Making friends doesn’t come easy for you. You’re almost too independent for your own good; your self-sufficiency is often an easier alternative than being vulnerable and opening up to newcomers. And letting strangers into your life often throws your reliable patterns off balance, and your disciplined nature is a bedrock of your personality.
Even if you decided to make new friends, they’d probably screw you over because that’s just how life works. You have a guard up for a reason…, but on the rare occasion you decide to let it down and bond with someone, you’re in for life, as loyal to your friends as you are to responsibilities, deadlines, and schedules. But what kind of person do you let in, Capricorn? They need to be thoughtful, in control of their emotions, and think before they act or speak… the exact opposite of the ram.
Aries and Capricorn in Friendship
It’s the evening of December 15th, and you, Capricorn, are at your work Christmas party. You arrived early, brought your boss a gift, and even baked cookies. Your boss has already reassured you that with your work ethic, you’re getting that Christmas bonus. Life is calm. Easy. On schedule. You stand in the back of the party, struggling to make small talk with the coworker you’ve sat next to for the last seven years when the doors suddenly burst open and a tornado blows in.
It’s them. The Aries. They don’t even acknowledge your boss. Instead, they go straight for the karaoke machine and announce it’s time to dance. And, of course, they look straight at you. “Even you, Capricorn. I know you got a personality somewhere in there.” You smile and calmly reply that their personality overshadows everyone else’s, so they probably just can’t see it. You’re more annoyed than you sound, but unlike them, you don’t react when someone pushes your buttons.
You’d assume Aries is drunk, except, tonight they’re just as loud as they are at work (and you’ve smelled their coffee before just to make sure they’re not slipping anything in there.) And because you are level-headed, you see things for what they are. You don’t like Aires, but you can’t deny it: they’re damn good at their job, and for that reason, you have learned to co-exist, but you don’t like it.
Friend Date: Mani/Pedi or Streaking on the Beach at Midnight?
You, Capricorn, schedule your free time just like everything else in your life. You know your time is precious, so you make sure that every minute is timed out perfectly. You’re not the kind of person to let the gas gauge hit empty because you always fill it up when it gets under half. You’re not against going to the beach, or even having adventures for that matter… you just prepare yourself for what to bring, how you will get there, and what will happen. Everything has an order. And for this reason, it’s unlikely that you’re friends with Aries. If you are, they’re probably a friend of a friend, that one who has to say everything they’re thinking.
Aries, you are not the planner type. And while you will tolerate those who do plan, it has become a not-so-secret joy in your life to spice things up as much as possible. People don’t know what to expect when they’re with you. Some love you for it. Or, for others, like Capricorn, you’re one of the many reasons they must talk to their therapist before hanging out with you. If you go to the beach, you’re the one streaking. Road trip? Let’s turn off the GPS. Hitchhiker–let’s grab him!
Friend-Fection: Keep It on the Dl or Text ‘Love Ya Biatch?’
The way you two express yourself in your friendships is identical to how you communicate in all manners of life. Capricorn, you keep your cards close, only speaking after you’ve run through the five different ways it might be perceived. Aries, you stopped playing this game a long time ago. Do you have a thought? You say it–and you don’t give a damn how anyone interprets it. Despite the differences in the timing of your thoughts, this highlights one similarity between the two of you: a genuine honesty when you do speak your mind. Both of you will communicate how you’re feeling in friendships, love, and life–one of you just runs it through about ten filters, and the other doesn’t have the word filter in their dictionary.
Dating Advice: Send His Name or Send His Social?
This is one place where two actually share something in common but for quite different reasons. Capricorn, in love, you are calculated, controlled, and always planning each step of the way. You know everything about you plan to spend time with, but it’s unlikely you’ll tell anyone you’re going on a date. Mainly because you don’t expect it to go well, and if you confide in someone, it might just get your hopes up. You’ll still look up your date’s social though–just to make sure he isn’t a serial killer.
Aries, you’ll share in your silence when you date, as well. Not because you’re afraid of getting hurt, though. If anything, you’ll be the one doing the hurt. Your impulsivity forces you to jump from situation to situation, but when you find the person you like–then you fall hard. And that is when you’ll do a deep dive into who your love interest is. Not because you want to protect yourself from getting hurt. Quite the opposite. You dive so deep into relationships you just enjoy getting to know everything about who a person is. But unlike Capricorn, who will google them in secrecy, you’ll take out your phone and do it while your partner is sitting next to you because it’s just more fun that way.
Aries and Capricorn in Love
If the compatibility of your friendship is any sign of how a potential love match between these two signs would go, well, think again. Your friendship is tolerable; one brought together by mutual friends or places of work. A forced proximity, if you will. Love, that’s a choice. So if you find yourself in this combo, I’m just gonna go ahead and say it. Tell your friends to bring out the popcorn because this dumpster fire of a match-up is going to be one hell of a show.
The First Date: Roses or KFC?
Somehow, here you are. It’s the first date. Most likely, it’s a blind date set up by mutual friends who think they know the two of you and that you guys will get along swimmingly. (Spoiler alert: maybe it’s time to get new friends.)
Capricorn, you’re at dinner that Aries pitched last minute, something that already set off your red flags. But you’re schedule was open, so you decided, why not? Everyone’s always telling you to be more spontaneous, after all. But this was not how you imagined that happening. You haven’t even had time to look at the menu because Aries won’t stop talking. And it’s not like they’re trying to be rude and only talk about themselves. They’re asking you questions about yourself, but before you can even process your answer, Aries has already gotten bored and has responded as if it was you who asked them the question.
Aries, you don’t get this person. They ask the server five million questions before they order. Seriously? It’s a burger joint. Like do you want to know the name of the cow, too? After an eternity, Capricorn orders, and now they ask what you do for work. Do you tell them the truth that you sell shoes on eBay for a living? They’re a banker and clearly more structured than the empire state building with that outfit. Do you already know this will not work? But do you want to sleep with them? That could be the difference in whether you tell the truth. You’re not a liar. You just don’t really care that much.
Love Language Do’s and Don’ts: A Dealbreaker?
Capricorn, it may take you a while to get here, my friend, but if you’re at the point where love languages are coming up in relationships, then you’ve probably read the book the theory is based on. In fact, you’ve probably given your partner a survey to find out exactly which is their preferred choice. And then you take the survey to find out yours. Then you spend an hour googling what is the best way to give them their language while respecting your own. Because when it comes down to it, if you find someone you love, who you’ve actually opened up with, you’re in it for the long-haul–about as loyal as they come. And I hate to say it, Aries is never the person you will have this conversation with. Aries is more interested in experiencing life with a partner than reading a book on how to do it. You two will be lucky to end up on a second date.
Sexy Time: Slow and Steady or Chompin’ at the Bit?
Imagine a turtle and a donkey falling in love. You can’t, right? That’s you two. You won’t even get to this point. Just don’t do it. It’s wrong. It won’t work. I’m serious.
As friends, you’ll co-exist because you have to. But for love? Do I even have to say it?
- 1- Get AWAY from me
- 2- Who are you again?
- 3- I tolerate you
- 4- You’re pretty cool
- 5- Let’s gooooo!
What if I Love This Person?