Dating apps aren’t something brand new to the scene. In fact, in 2021 alone, over 300 million people worldwide used a dating app. Out of those, over 20 million users even sprung for the premium features. That’s a lot of dating!
That said, you should consider some standard etiquette when starting on a dating app.
Unfortunately, many dating app users struggle to connect with others when searching for a long-term partner. So, we’re here to assist you with tips on using the apps. Hopefully, you’ll beat the odds and make a genuine connection.
1. Put a Little Thought into Your Bio
If you’re on a dating app–especially to look for a relationship– don’t be lazy with your bio. Don’t you want someone to make an effort with you? So, set an example and do the same for them.
Stop using generic prompts like “How to get to know me: ask” and “I’m highly competitive about: everything.” You have way more to offer than that.
2. Never Misrepresent Yourself
We all have that picture we took several years ago where the lighting was perfect, our hair was perfect, and the outfit was spectacular.
But if you meet someone in person from a dating app, you, at least, want to look similar to your picture. So, if you drastically gained/lost weight, chopped and changed the color of your hair, grew facial hair, or simply got older (which most of us do), then don’t hide it.
No one enjoys being catfished. Although you may not have meant to, you did. You want someone to choose you for who you are today. This includes personality and appearances, so make sure your image depicts your current appearance.
And while we’re at it, don’t lie about your age, weight, or height. We know you may be side eyeing right about now, thinking, “What woman puts her correct weight?” All we’re saying is, it’s ideal to stay within 5 lbs of your true weight.
For example, you don’t want to put you’re 25 years old, 5’10”, and 125 lbs when in actuality you’re 50, 5’4″, and 150 lbs.
You may get matches with the first set of statistics, but eventually, they will want to meet you, and then what? Besides, you want someone to see how awesome you truly are.
3. Never Demand an Answer
Don’t force someone to answer; you shouldn’t feel obligated to respond, either. Remember, a match on a dating app is still a stranger, and since you don’t know each other, you don’t owe each other anything. So, if you initiate contact and they don’t respond, let it go.
For whatever reason, no response is common, so you shouldn’t take it personally. It only becomes creepy when you send two, three, and four messages without a response.
In many cases, it’s not about you. They could’ve had a bad day, or gotten back with their ex. Maybe they lost their phone, or it doesn’t work. If you continue to try to get a response, if they finally reply, you probably won’t like their answer anyway.
4. Put Thought into Your Messages
Stop sending a simple “hello” or “how’s you’re weekend going?” Nothing turns off a match more than asking a generic question they hear a million times.
Talking about what you did for the weekend is what you tell your friends around the kitchen table, not when you’re talking to a total stranger and trying to get to know them on a personal level.
Instead, check out their profile and search for something you find interesting. Then try to initiate a conversation about that topic. Or send a compliment about one of their photos, but not the generic “I love your smile” comment. Dig down and be a little more creative.
5. Never Message Them on Social Media before Getting Permission
Social media makes it easy to find people outside dating apps. Some people even connect their Instagram to Tinder, and you can easily click. Or sometimes, you can locate them with just a name and other info from their profile.
Social media makes it easy to find people outside dating apps. Some people even connect their Instagram to Tinder, and you can easily click. Or sometimes, you can locate them with just a name and other info from their profile.
If they didn’t specify that they’d like to connect outside the app, don’t! It’s just plain creepy to have someone you matched with contact you on social media.
It’s even creepier (and somewhat scary) if you never matched in the first place, or they blocked you, and then you contacted them on social media. Here’s a tip: if they block you, they don’t want to talk to you. Period!
If you’re the one feeling uncomfortable in the situation, make sure to read up on tips to help keep you safe on dating apps.
6. Schedule a Date
You’ve been chatting for several days, and you obviously enjoy each other’s quips and witty back-and-forth banter. The question becomes, why haven’t you made a move?
You didn’t sign up on the app to be a pen pal, so stop wasting time and do it already. It’s time to take your relationship out into the real world.
It doesn’t matter if you’re looking for a hookup or a long-term relationship. It will never happen over text. If you’re hesitant to set up a meeting because you don’t see it going anywhere, cut it off and move on because you’re only wasting time.
7. Don’t Ghost after a First Date
So you took our advice and moved from texting to asking them out. Good for you.
Here’s the thing, if you don’t respond to a person you have never met, it’s no big deal. But once you both made an effort to put on your finest clothes, make the drive and pay for dinner, the very least you can do is let them know that, meh, there wasn’t a connection, and you wish them the best. It’s 2023; let’s stop ghosting people and grow a pair.
It’s not the best thing to hear after the effort you made, but at least you aren’t stringing them along or just went completely “radio silent.”
And if you do like them, don’t wait three or four days to let them know. Instead, be truthful and text them the next day after the date that you enjoyed yourself and would like to see them again.
In the worst-case scenario, they feel differently. In the best-case scenario, they feel the same, and you make another date. At least you’ll have your answer immediately instead of wondering for the next few days if you made a connection.
8. Don’t Ask For or Send Nude Pictures
Previously, we said nothing was a bigger turnoff than a bland, uninteresting “hi” initial message. Well, we lied.
There is something creepier, and that’s sending unsolicited pictures of your junk to a person you haven’t met. It’s disgusting and weird, so don’t do it.
You may think, “Well, some people may enjoy risque messages,” and that’s accurate. But a certain level of trust needs to be established first. So, don’t let someone coerce you into doing this, and don’t pressure anyone else.
9. Don’t Take It Too Seriously. Enjoy Yourself
OK, here’s the most important part about online dating: DO NOT set your expectations too high. Every person you meet will not be “The One.” You’ll first need to get to know them and then see if you like them, much less fall in love with them.
So, use dating apps as a way to meet new people. It’s just like going to the bar, but you don’t have to shower, brush your teeth, comb your hair, pick out the perfect outfit and drive for miles to meet them. Instead, you can do it on your own time and while wearing whatever you want. Sweet deal, huh?
Final Thoughts
Dating apps aren’t for everyone and might not be for you. But we suggest at least trying one or two. Who knows, even if you don’t meet your perfect match, you can still venture out to new places, have new experiences, and even find a few new friends. Good luck and happy dating!
