Dating is complicated. I don’t think a truer statement has ever been written.
It’s hard to figure out who you want to date, who you feel the most comfortable with, and even who is the most stable person.
Most of us are too familiar with people with red flags and how they affect our dating lives.
Whether the red flag is that he still lives in his mother’s basement, that she still calls her ex every week to just ‘catch up’, or maybe they are a little too obsessed with you and won’t let you go anywhere alone, these are all signs that we know to steer clear of when it comes to our love lives and the people that we choose to date.
And sadly, no matter what the red flag was, nor how crazy our experience might have been with the person to whom we’re talking, most of us have already been there and done that when it comes to being able to assess the walking red flags in our lives.
Not all red flags are that easy to see and some are not clear to us, it is pretty easy to label someone or something that someone does as a red flag once you know the truth. It’s also good to note that not all red flags are universal, and some people’s red flags might not be the same as others’ red flags.
But, in general, everyone who has ever dated someone, and really anyone with boundaries, has a basic understanding of what we want to and ought to avoid when it comes to dating someone that we know isn’t right for us and who will ultimately hurt us in the relationship.
But what happens when the red flag isn’t as bright red as we might want it to be?
It’s good to know what warning signs you might want to be on the lookout for and what beige flags someone might be showing before you’re face-to-face with them.
Defining the Online Dating Phenomenon of Beige Flags
As if online dating and trying to figure out if someone was toxic or trouble from the limited communication the two of you might have had online wasn’t hard enough, the dating world went and added another color of flags that people ought to be on the lookout for.
There are very few dating terms that are specifically about online dating, but a beige flag is one of them.
While a person can showcase all of the other flag colors online and we know basically what they look like: if they’re very active and engaged in the conversation, they’re a green flag, if they’re a little odd and you’re not totally sure they’re on the app for the right reasons, they’re a yellow flag, and if they’re already talking about their exes or listing out the qualifications that anyone who swipes on their profile should have, they’re a red flag.
But What Happens When Someone Is a Beige Flag?
Well, even though it’s one of the more popular and stylish colors in the past year, there’s no mistaking that the beige color is a bit boring. There’s nothing that really pops out about them, and they don’t really make a statement.
One of the most telltale signs that someone on a dating app is a beige flag is if their profile feels beige. This really means that you can tell that they haven’t put too much effort into making their profile, not a lot of it is filled out, and it’s really quite boring and run-of-the-mill.
Because we’re dating app experts here at BestDatingApps.com, we know how to make a great profile and we’ve spent a large part of our website helping people do just that.
While there are many reasons why we always emphasize the power and the help that an amazing profile can provide for dating app users, one of the most important things that a good profile does is to help them avoid being labeled as a beige flag and boring.
When you’re approaching online dating, you want to stand out from the crowd and almost market yourself as original and one of a kind.
If your profile looks boring, normal, and, well, beige, you’re not going to get a number of people who are showing interest in you.
Another reason why you want to avoid creating a profile that screams beige is that people often associate and link the effort that they see you putting into the profile on your dating app and assume that you’re going to put the same amount of effort into your time on the app.
So, if your profile looks lack-luster and it’s obvious that you didn’t really care enough to put in some effort on your end, people are not going to want to swipe right on you because they might assume that you’re going to waste their time, not come up with an interesting conversation, or just not put any effort into your relationships on the app.
As you can imagine, this means that your time on the app is going to honestly be a huge waste of time and you will more than likely not be able to make the connections and relationships that you might have wanted to if you don’t put the effort into your profile upfront.
While beige flags and the idea behind them might not be as terrible of a reflection on someone as red flags are, if you show them, they might hinder your performance and your success on dating apps more than anything else can.
If you’re curious about how to avoid showing these beige flags and what to do instead, keep reading!
How to Spot a Beige Flag (and Avoid Showing Them)
Just like most other colored flags that can rear their heads when you’re dating someone, beige flags are relatively subjective to spot.
For some people, a beige flag means that the person added a pet-only picture to their online dating profile. Another person might pin a beige flag onto a person who didn’t link their social media on their dating app. Others still might think that a person deserves a beige flag if they quote The Office in their bio.
Whatever the beige flag may look like for you, it’s relatively subjective. In these cases, the beige flag is not given out because someone didn’t put in the proper amount of effort, but more so that the two people who are swiping on each other aren’t interested in the same things. And in that case, it might be good that one person led with their shirtless gym selfies so that the other person swiping on them would know that they were never meant to be.
But what isn’t subjective is the amount of effort that a person ought to put into making their dating app profile.
Even if you don’t mesh with someone and you might get the ick from the photos that a person might have chosen or you grimace at the quotes they opted to fill their bios with, it should be pretty evident whether or not the person put any effort into their profile and if they seem to want to invest their time and energy into making the dating app work for them.
Here are some of the easiest ways to spot beige flags and how you can avoid having them on your profile.
Not Filling Out Their Entire Profile
This is and will always be the first thing that we caution against when people are making their profiles for their dating apps.
It’s truly the least you can do, and most dating apps often make it so easy to just answer the prompts, click the options that apply to you, and add some photos. We’re not asking you to write the next great American novel in your bio or spill your guts on your profile, but just fill it out completely.
A lot of people will immediately write someone off if they see that they haven’t filled out their entire profile and others might mistake you for a bot or a scammer.
In general, these profiles take between five to 15 minutes to complete. That is not a lot of time, and the success of your profile often dictates your entire success on the dating app.
You must keep in mind that your profile and what you choose to put in it will not only be some people’s only impression of you, but everyone’s first impression of you. Because of this, the pressure is on and you’re going to want to take some time to make sure that your profile is telling the story that you want it to tell.
While it might seem like an impossible task and you don’t necessarily need to put too much pressure on yourself to create a flawless profile, because those don’t exist, we will always tell anyone who will listen to make sure that they fill out their entire profile and don’t leave bits blank.
If you feel frustrated with this task or you don’t have the proper amount of time that it requires, take a break and come back to it. We promise, it will be worth it in the end.
All of Their Photos are the Same
You know those people who keep posting the same photos on their Instagram over and over again? Whether it’s the same selfie position, the same outfit, or whatever the similarities might be, you get bored of their content pretty quickly and most people will unfollow them pretty quickly.
That’s the same case for dating app profiles.
While we want everyone to be comfortable and confident in their choices for profile pictures, we also want there to be enough of a distinction between all the photos. Even though you may have a favorite outfit that you’re always in, maybe get some photos of you in a different outfit, just to shake things up a little bit.
If you know that a certain angle for your selfies looks great on you, make that photo your profile picture and add some more photos on your profile that weren’t taken at that angle.
Remember, your dating app profile is the place where your personality is supposed to shine and where you can really take control of the narrative. Because of this, you don’t want to come off as boring or one-noted, you want people to see you for all that you are and be able to pick you out from a crowd after they look at your profile.
Think of some ways that you can incorporate interesting pictures in your dating app profile. Maybe make it a rule for yourself that you must include at least one personality shot of you looking like a complete dork. That way, you might just make people laugh and you’ll still be able to stand out.
No matter what you do to make your profile more interesting and to showcase your personality in your profile pictures, make sure that you’re not being boring or even safe with your selections. Everyone wants to be wowed and this is your chance to do that!
Their Interests are not Interesting
Even though one could argue that ‘interesting’ is subjective, for the most part, you know what we mean.
When you’re on a dating app, you’re allowed to choose from all the interests that the app provides for you. You can also double down and talk about some of your hobbies in your bio if they matter to you that much.
While it’s okay to have a few common interests — sports, drinking coffee, binge-watching Netflix — you don’t want to make these common hobbies and activities your entire personality trait.
Nearly every person from the age of 15 to 100 drinks coffee every morning. No one likes to face the realities of life, so they often opt to watch the drama that unfolds on reality shows instead. And can we be done talking about sports in general?
Instead, think about some of the things in your life that your friends call you out for doing or even make fun of you for. This could be the fact that you’re in your twenties and you love to binge-watch Bluey as a form of escapism.
Or maybe your guilty pleasure is to make the shower as hot as you can possibly stand it and then sit in it for a while. You can even run with the sports thing but emphasize that you only love to watch the University of Georgia play football.
The main goal that we’re trying to get at is that you should try to show yourself as truthfully as possible, but you should do that while emphasizing that you’re ‘not like other girls’ and mean it!
Can I Date Someone with a Beige Flag?
You can date anyone you want to. Beige flags are interesting because they’re not so full of trouble as red flags are, but they still give a lot of people pause.
If you’re worried that someone is showing beige flags, but you’re really interested in them, there’s no harm in just messaging them and seeing if the conversation goes anywhere and the two of you can connect.
Remember, online dating is hard, and it might be extremely difficult for someone to be able to truly feel like they can be themselves online and give everyone an accurate depiction of their personality while still remaining comfortable.
Also, some people have interests that aren’t that crazy or fantastical.
If you want to swipe right on someone, but you think that their profile might be a bit too beige for you to be sure, just give it a try and message them on your favorite dating app to see if the two of you have chemistry with each other! What’s the worst that can happen?