So apart from blog writing, I’m also a fiction writer. For my original novels, I prefer writing thrillers, end of the world stories. You know the kind–dystopian, maybe a virus or a zombie or two. In other words, the opposite of romance. So how the hell am I qualified to write for a romance blog, you ask?
Well, let me introduce you to the world of ghostwriting. You write the book. You do the work. You slave over the edits–and you get paid! And you see zero royalties–or payments when people purchase your book. Err–except it’s not your book because your name isn’t on the cover. And no one will know you ever wrote it.
For whatever reason, the most popular genre for ghostwriting is romance. In 2022, I ghost-wrote nine romance novels–and literally wanted to pull my hair out. Why, you ask? Besides the fact that I was hopelessly single and writing about unrealistic happy endings, I discovered something about romance novels: The tropes are all the same. Every single one of them. And it gets repetitive.
Let me give you an example, and one thousand percent, if you’re interested in romantic comedies, you’ve seen this movie or read this book: Girl and boy meet. They immediately don’t like each other. They hate the other person, in fact–and they don’t hate anyone because they are good people! Which means this person is bad news. And for whatever reason, everyone in their life loves this person, and it’s so annoying!
And then, one night, too much alcohol is involved. Oh, no–it happens. These two enemies sleep together. And after the initial panic attack subsides, they realize… Well, hey, that wasn’t too bad. Maybe they start up as friends with benefits. Time probably passes. Then their ex-girlfriend comes back into the picture. And then they realize they have that thing called feelings, and before they know it–they’re in love with this person! Gasp! Does the other one love them back? Read the sequel to find out.
The tropes? Forced proximity. Enemies to lovers. Love triangle. I don’t know why, but it works. Every single time. Now why am I breaking this down to you? Because this entire love story that I just wrote out is yours, Aquarius and Scorpio. You do not like each other. Until one day…. But does the person feel the same? Will it work out? Let’s read your stories and find out what will happen next!
As an air sign, you’re a free spirit, Aquarius, a reputation you love. Freedom is everything to you, and if you’re not perpetually single, it’s likely your relationships have probably been on the short side. More than one person has called you aloof, and you usually smile when that happens because you just really don’t care what people think. Because you’re a fixed sign, you do exactly what you like, and you won’t let other people’s judgments stop you from accomplishing your goals. You’re incredibly sociable and will talk to anyone, but you gravitate to people who you can grow with and who will encourage your innovative spirit. And you’ll run from those who try to tie you down. You’re considered untraditional by most people in your life, and you find that funny because who set the laws of tradition, to begin with? How boring.
Put it this way: If you’ve ever seen the movie “Friends with Benefits“–you’re Ashton Kutcher.
Scorpio, you’re a ball of fire, your energy intense, your emotions deep. For this reason, you’re often mistaken as a fire sign, even though you’re actually a water sign. Anyone who understands astrology–like you will after reading these metaphorical blogs–will know that water signs are the most emotional of all the zodiac (looking at you Cancer and Pisces). You’re not just sensitive, though; you’re intuitive and in tune with your emotions. You just have a sense of people. Of all the water signs, however, you’re the one who won’t bite your tongue if you get hurt. Like your symbol, the scorpion, if you feel cornered, you’ll last out at anyone near you–and if you don’t immediately react, then you’ll sit on your feelings, planning your revenge. You’re ready to fight if someone wrongs you or those you love, but that’s just because you’re incredibly loyal once you accept someone into your life. You can be guarded even with those you love, and this might come off as possessiveness, but that’s mainly because you don’t like showing your vulnerability to people you care deeply about. You’ve probably been called a combination of mysterious and overly blunt. And you’re just fine with that. In the movie “Friends with Benefits”–you’re Natalie Portman.
Aquarius and Scorpio in Friendship
So when you two meet, it’s going to unfold exactly how those romantic comedies do because, from a distance, you two couldn’t be more different. Scorpio, you’ll see Aquarius as aloof and kind of a weirdo, and Aquarius you’ll see Scorpio as too intense, their energy overwhelming. And because you’re both fixed signs, you’ll be pretty stuck in your ways. It’s likely that you’ll avoid each other at parties, and if you do talk, it won’t be great. You’ll be on two different planes, and instead of trying to see where the other person is coming from, you’ll double down on your opinions instead of agreeing to disagree. So how do you two end up being friends? Well, let’s find out!
Friend Date: Mani/Pedi or Streaking on the Beach at Midnight?
When you two end up in the same room, it’s likely your energies may repel each other. Aquarius, you’re more easygoing than Scorpio, eager to do your own thing and enjoy the moment. Scorpio, meanwhile, you can dominate the energy of a room if you’re not careful. Some people love this about you, but others, like Aquarius, at first glance, will see your intensity as overwhelming. And because you both enjoy your independence and are comfortable dancing to the beat of your own drum, it’s likely you won’t find yourself walking the same path. But because you have mutual friends or find yourself in similar places (there’s that fixed proximity trope), you may have no choice but to learn how to interact.
And once you start talking, there will be a charm to your conversations that neither of you will really understand. Aquarius, you’ll recognize something mysterious about Scorpio that you’ll like. Most people in your life are pretty obvious, but not Scorpio. And you Scorpio, will watch Aquarius from afar, and you’ll realize they’re not as much of an airhead as you previously thought. In fact, as you listen to them talk, you’ll realize they actually have something to say and that this might be someone you want to talk to. Is this the start of a blossoming friendship? Lookin’ good, friends.
Friend-Fection: Keep It on the Dl or Text ‘Love Ya Biatch?’
When the time comes that you two eventually sit down to talk, you both will realize you have more in common than you originally thought. Scorpio, because you’re in tune with your emotions, you’re a naturally good listener, and it won’t take much probing to get Aquarius to open up. While you can sometimes dominate a conversation, Scorpio, you’ll find this won’t happen with your Aquarius friend. Aquarius, you’re seeking original thought, and Scorpio will not only engage you in conversation, but they will want to pick your brain. Your conversations will become engaging, and although neither of you want to admit it, you both will realize that you’re starting to like each other. The deeper topics of conversation may be more difficult, however. Scorpio, you’re the kind of person who wants to be open about your feelings, while Aquarius, intimate conversations are just as something to you as long-term commitments. It’s likely that as friends, you’ll get deep about your interests but not about your feelings, despite Scorpio’s efforts.
Dating Advice: Send His Name or Send His Social?
Scorpio, you would never admit this to anyone–hell, you probably won’t even admit this to yourself, so let me offer you that self-awareness–but you fall fast and hard for new partners. You don’t like being vulnerable, so it’s unlikely you’ll talk to your friends about what you’re feeling until you know you’re headed in the direction of a relationship. Aquarius, you’ll keep your dating life to yourself as well, but often for different reasons. You just don’t care that much about dating, and because you’re particular about who you spend your time with, you’re not going to date the same person consistently unless you know they’re worth it. And even then, you’re hesitant to talk to your friends, but the ones like Scorpio, who are in tune with their emotions, they’ll urge you to open up.
Aquarius and Scorpio in Love
Love is an interesting thing, friends. You’ll see the best in people and think you’re falling before you even know their last name. It’s likely that’s what’s going to happen here. You two could go from enemies to friends to lovers in the blink of an eye. One minute your friends will think you hate each other, and then they’ll be scratching their heads when they see you kissing in public. No one will really understand it–including both of you. If there was even a mild attraction between you two, then it’s likely you, Aquarius, wanted to see the mysteries Scorpio was hiding. And you Scorpio, were eager to explore what other ideas Aquarius had.
This won’t be all peaches and butterflies, though. Scorpio, your emotional intensity can make you come off as possessive, especially if you feel like your partner is drifting away from you. And that won’t necessarily be what Aquarius is doing, but in your search for freedom, you, free-spirit Aquarius, you need to have a life of your own, even when you’re in a relationship. And when you sense Scorpio pulling you in, you’re probably going to run even faster. As long as you communicate, though, you both can learn to compromise and make this work.
The First Date: Roses or KFC?
As fixed signs, neither of you like to change your mindsets, especially when you’re passionate about something. This will create some interesting tension on your first date and probably for your whole relationship. You’ll bond over your mutual desire for stability and shared appreciation for loyalty, and because you both enjoy some spiciness in your relationship, you’ll find your differences engaging. As long as you learn to simmer down and not get heated, and practice agreeing to disagree, then this bond will only grow. You two detest small talk, and your conversations will delve into the meaning of life and your dreams and goals. You’ll not only uplift each other but inspire the other to grow.
Love Language Do’s and Don’ts: A Dealbreaker?
Scorpio, you’re the type of person who likes to talk about things immediately, while you, Aquarius, need some time to process how you’re feeling. Scorpio, you’ll need to learn how to express your boundaries and what you expect from a relationship, including sharing quality time with your partner, something that is important to you. As a water sign, you’re more sensitive and in tune with your emotions, and you’ll want to get deep in your conversations with Aquarius. This is new for you, Aquarius. As an air sign, you’re more logical, and you struggle with expressing yourself. You’ll need to learn how to tell Scorpio that you need space from time to time and that your independence is important to you. Because you two have shared values of loyalty, as long as you communicate your needs to each other, you’ll have no problem trusting each other, and you’ll be able to make this relationship work. Aquarius, just make sure you work on expressing yourself, and Scorpio, make sure not to take Aquarius’ silence personally.
Sexy Time: Slow and Steady or Chompin’ at the Bit?
What happens when Scorpio, a water sign, and Aquarius, an air sign meet behind closed doors? Fire, that’s what. Intimacy will be no issue here. And that’s why it’s likely you started as friends with benefits before you decided to give a relationship a go. Aquarius, you hate routine, and that includes the new experiences you crave in the bedroom. To put it bluntly, Scorpio will blow your socks off. With Scorpio’s planets of Mars and Pluto representing energy and passion, you Scorpio love expressing yourself in an intimate way with your partner. There will be no judgment in this connection, and this will be one place where you two have no issue communicating.
So how does the story end? If you can both learn to express your feelings and needs, in friendship and in love, this bond has the potential to be a happy and healthy one–the fun, boring kind they don’t make movies about.
- 1- Get AWAY from me
- 2- Who are you again?
- 3- I tolerate you
- 4- You’re pretty cool
- 5- Let’s gooooo!
What if I Love This Person?
Your love story will be better than most romantic comedies out there.