While the Enneagram should never be used as a way to understand superlatives or assign a ribbon to any one number for being one thing, it almost goes without saying that the Enneagram 7 is one of the most fun numbers on the diagram.
The Enneagram 7 is the kind of person you want to plan a vacation with. These are the people that you call up saying you’re bored, and thirty minutes later, they’re at your door with a planned weekend and a car packed up.
The Enneagram 7’s are the types that are most in-tuned with their inner child and who are constantly on the go.
Sevens get their nickname, the Enthusiast because everything they see in the world around them brings them joy. They love chasing after the next big thing and their next great adventure.
And while that is an admirable quality, and Sevens make some of the best friends who are ready to do anything at a moment’s notice, it can also be the Seven’s biggest downfall.
Due to the Seven’s need to be constantly on the go and looking for fun and exciting things to fill their brains and free time, they are often untethered to the world around them and try to avoid commitment.
Many Sevens can find success and love in their long-term relationships, but they must know that their partner will let them be the way they want. This type needs to not be tied down to anyone who will put limitations on how they live their lives or what they’re allowed to do.
If you try to rein in a Seven, they’ll assume you’re not only being controlling but also trying to steal their joy, which is an unforgivable offense.
Sevens are some of the best people to be in a relationship with, but they’re also an extremely complicated type worth exploring.
The Enthusiast Overview
In fact, Enneagram-type Sevens act the way they do because they are actively avoiding feeling or facing anything to do with pain. That is one of the reasons why they’re always on the go and ready to run at a moment’s notice — they want to outrun their problems.
Many Sevens have spent their entire lives trying to avoid anything too serious or heartbreaking. They learned at an early age that if they could distract themselves from the hardships going on in the world around them, then maybe they wouldn’t have to feel any pain ever.
You’ll know that someone is a Seven if they’re notoriously terrible at RSVPing to any event, they’re constantly changing plans or canceling on you, and they don’t necessarily want to be in a long-term relationship for fear that it will end up clipping their wings and restricting their freedom.
Many Sevens believe that if they are constantly on the go and don’t allow anything to tie down or ground them, they will truly be happy, and they will never have to miss anything fun or exciting that comes their way.
The only issue is that the Sevens are also one of the most ungrounded types, and they are notoriously flakey and avoidant of the people who want genuine and sturdy relationships with them.
This means that many Sevens spend their entire life simultaneously hoping that the next big thing will give them happiness and purpose while avoiding people who could provide them a deeper joy than they could ever imagine.
Enneagram 7’s are some of the most interesting and loveable personalities on the Enneagram. But just like all of the other personality types on the diagram, they also have flaws.
- The Seven’s most profound dread is living in deprivation and facing pain. They fear this idea so much that many Sevens have reworked their entire lives to never have to face anything that could make them feel anything less than delight.
- All that a Seven really wants out of their life is to be satisfied. Because of this basic desire, many Sevens will hop from thing to thing, hoping to gain fulfillment out of the exciting and captivating activities that they fill their brains and days with.
Enneagram 7 in Stress
When an Enneagram 7 is stressed and unhealthy, they often will take on the traits associated with Enneagram One. The Seven will morph into hyper-critical perfectionists who are constantly planning and over-planning, then getting upset that no one around them is on their level of perfection.
Unhealthy Sevens are also more prone to addiction than any other type. Because the Seven is naturally pulled toward the next best thing or something that will immediately stop or quell their pain, they are often susceptible to getting addictions along the way.
When a Seven is at their worst, they will also not be able to be tamed and constantly try to go bigger and better in everything, drowning their resources and not listening to people’s advice to stop, slow down, and breathe.
Enneagram 7 in Growth
When a Seven is at their best and healthy, they usually gravitate toward the personality traits of an Enneagram Five.
The Five’s quiet and content attitude helps to stabilize the Enneagram 7, and it allows the type to see the good in everything around them without constantly feeling the need and pull to go to something better.
When they’re at their best, Sevens can experience the beauty in everyday things and not feel the need to outrun their negative emotions or attempt to cover them up with meaningless pleasures.
They are still the Sevens that we know and love, and they still crave entertainment and adventure, but they are also able to see that they don’t need these things to face their lives and that there is something good in everything around them.
A healthy Seven knows that getting a quick hit of dopamine or covering up an emotional wound with something fun at the moment is not always the best course of action.
Enneagram 7 with Wing-6
The Seven-wing-Six has two nicknames: the Pathfinder and the Entertainer. The wing Six in this type helps to ground the Seven and keep them loyal to the things that they’ve promised to others to the people around them.
If you’re a Seven, but the people in your life matter more to you than anything, you probably have the Six as your wing.
Those who identify with a Wing Six have an intense fear of missing out when it comes to life. This conflicts with their want to be there for the people they love, so sometimes they feel as though they’re stuck between wanting to love and respect their significant others while also wanting to leave room in their schedule and their lives to do… everything.
Seven-wing-Sixes are some of the best people to be around. They love the people in their lives and are dedicated to making every moment matter.
However, because their lives can often revolve around the people they love, their confidence can be shaken easily when they receive criticism from those trusted sources. They also suffer from getting bored of the mundane, even if that sometimes means their relationships.
Enneagram 7 with Wing-8
The Opportunist or the Realist is this type’s nickname for a reason. The Seven-wing-Eight is usually a determined and brilliant individual. They are often more work-oriented and passionate about their jobs than other typical Sevens, and they often want to be satisfied.
The Seven’s main fear of being deprived in life and not having enough resources to have fun with and have freedom because of manifests itself in an interesting way through the wing Eight.
Suddenly, the Seven, who are usually work-avoidant, want to work to have enough funds to provide for their future. Seven-wing-Eights also love to work ahead and get stuff done ahead of time so that they might be able to no longer be controlled by their schedules.
Seven-wing-Eights are usually great under pressure and constantly high-energy and upbeat. They lead their lives with a lot of charisma. But they can also be seen as workaholics, becoming addicted to the feeling of getting paid and the dopamine of finishing a job. They can also become highly focused on material things, and their lives can become dictated by the grind very quickly.
How the Enneagram 7’s Characteristics Apply to Romance and Dating
If you’re in a relationship with an Enneagram 7, you’ll know that life doesn’t slow down for the two of you. Your partner will often try to whisk you away on a romantic adventure every chance they get, and you’re usually just along for the ride.
But while it seems all fun and exciting, you’ll also know that your Enneagram 7 can often get depressed or start to question what they want out of life. Even though their lives might be good and they’re satisfied in some aspects, they might sometimes be drawn to the idea that there is more out in the world, and they want to explore that.
Sevens want to be satisfied in life, and to do that, they often have to teach themselves that it’s okay to love the little moments. Sometimes, Sevens need to be reminded that they’re allowed to be bored and that life doesn’t always have to have the next big thing planned before the last item is over.
All that being said, if you want to find someone who will take your mundane life and flip it on its head, then you need to date a Seven. These people will see the glory and the beauty in everything and transform dull days into adventurous ones.
Tips for Keeping The Enneagram 7’s Interested
If you’re wondering how best to keep your Enneagram 7 partner interested and invested in your relationship, we have a few tips for you!
Be Your Own Person
Enneagram 7 is attracted to interesting things and people. Because of this, they don’t want to date a carbon-copy cutout of every single other person in the world; they want to date someone unique and special.
If you’re dating an Enneagram 7, you must be able to be your own person and know what all of the exciting and unique things you bring to the table are. Sevens are wonderful people to date, and they provide a lot of light into people’s lives, but they don’t need to be the only source of light for everyone.
Allow Chances for Growth and Opportunities
Everyone changes throughout their relationships; that’s just a fact. Suppose you’re uncomfortable with the idea of change, or you’re resistant to anything affecting your pre-established plans for the day. In that case, an Enneagram 7 will get frustrated with that and start to feel as though they’re missing out on a considerable part of their lives.
Instead, embrace change and let opportunities come your way when you’re presented with them. This way, you’re allowing your Seven to feel the freedom they need to explore the world and enjoy their lives, but you’re also allowing yourself to grow.
Plan Some Activities as Well
While the Enneagram 7 is an established pro at having fun and planning amazing things, some Sevens will often struggle with the pressure that people around them can unknowingly put on them.
When they’re the fun ones to be around or the people who always have a plan, many Sevens can start to feel as though they’re being taken advantage of, and they can often struggle with the fact that they’re not being as loved or appreciated as they love others.
Take the reigns on some of the planning in the relationship. Let your Seven have fun and give them creative freedom, but don’t put all the pressure on them.
Things to Consider When Dating an Enneagram 7
Sevens need people who will ground and focus them without clipping their wings. This is a dangerous balance beam that you have to walk, and it can be challenging to discern how to do it.
One thing that is very important to remember is that the Enneagram 7 needs freedom in their lives, but many also crave the focus and structure that others have. Be open and honest with your Enneagram 7 partner and try to work together to ensure that they’re enjoying their lives while remaining focused and giving their attention.
The Enneagram 7’s Compatibility with Other Enneagram Types
One of the best things the Enneagram has provided modern daters with is a map that guides them in their dating lives. One of the many findings from the Enneagram is knowing which type your type works best with.
Enneagram 1 – The Reformer
While many might not think it, the Seven/One pairing is one of the strongest for this type. Ones bring the focus and the drive that Sevens tend to lack in their relationships, while Sevens remind the Ones no one is perfect, and they are allowed to just let loose and have fun.
Both of these types are excellent planners, and they can take over the reins when the other is feeling burnt out or unappreciated.
While the stark difference between these two types can be a point of contention for the couple, the One might start to see the Seven as too childish and unfocused, while the Seven might begin to feel boxed in and uninspired.
That being said, this couple has the potential to be extremely powerful and healthy for each other. Ones are supportive, excited, motivating, and encouraging, and that’s all you can ask for in a relationship.
Enneagram 9 – The Peacemaker
This is another case of opposites attracting with Enneagram 7. The Seven/Nine pairing is one of the most commonly paired types. These two types balance each other out to a ‘T.’ Both are avoidant to anything that might make them feel uneasy or upset, and both want to be content with life.
While the Seven’s constant on-the-go attitude might disrupt the Nine’s need to rest and be in the moment, that’s where the two opposing types can teach each other a lot about being able to see the other side.
Nines need Sevens to not get stuck in a rut and become complacent with a life that isn’t interesting. When left alone, Nines can often isolate themselves and become almost unhealthily happy with the mundane.
Alternatively, Sevens need Nines in their lives to tell them to slow down, enjoy their lives, and see the beauty in everything.
While Nines won’t necessarily give Sevens the direction and input that Ones will provide them with, the type can help them in different ways without limiting their potential for joy.
The Enneagram 7’s Incompatibility with Other Enneagram Types
Although the Enneagram should never be used as a tool to exclude people from your dating pool, and there will always be exceptions for everything, this is the Enneagram number that is least likely to get along with an Enneagram 7.
Enneagram 6 – The Loyalist
While these two types can come together in a healthy and loving relationship, there are many places where the Enneagram 7 and 6 butt heads.
While these two types can be another remarkable case of opposites attracting, and the two have a lot to learn from each other, there are a few too many differences between them to create a wholly healthy and understanding relationship.
Sixes are constantly in need of reassurance from their partners. They are loyal to a fault and often will follow their lovers around like little puppy dogs to let them know that they’ll be there at a moment’s notice. While this stability and devotion are lovely, and some types really need this kind of reassurance, it will drive Seven insane.
Sevens are future-oriented and ready to drop anything the second something better comes along. This go-with-the-flow attitude will not only concern a Six, but it will make the type more fearful and anxious than they were to begin with.
At their worst, this pairing will never see eye-to-eye, and the relationship will be destructive to both of the types’ core values.
Final Thoughts about Dating an Enneagram 7
The world and relationships need Sevens in them because they need people who are magic and who see the possibility of magic all around them.
Yes, it might be healthier for the Seven if they realized, as the Enneagram Four has, that there can be beauty in pain and melancholic moments of life. But that’s not them. Instead, the Sevens of the world will transform an already beautiful day into an unforgettable one. They are the kinds of people who will make everything better just by their presence. Sevens are the partners in crime that everyone needs, but not everyone gets the pleasure of knowing.
If you have an Enneagram 7 in your life, hold onto them and the magic that they bring — but don’t hold on too tightly, or else they’ll get worried and run away like pixies in the night.