Online dating can be a lot more complicated than many people initially think it will be when they first sign onto the apps. And there’s a reason for that. There are so many hoops that people often have to jump through to get to where they want to be and match with whom they want to match.
Suddenly, it’s not just about finding someone online or even creating the perfect profile that will make matches easier for you to come by. But it’s also messaging someone when they match with you and keeping them interested. It’s about making sure that everyone you think you could have a future with knows that you care about them and that you’re interested in putting in the work for the relationship upfront.
Online dating can be rough, but it is also one of the most fun and exciting times in a relationship. Dating app users are free to explore new relationships, test the waters out with certain people, and really just have fun.
But while there are a lot of online dating blogs that help with the setup process of your dating app, like what to put in your profile to catch everyone’s eye and how to tell if someone is even worth swiping on, there often isn’t enough guidance after the fact.
You get on a dating app, you create a profile, you match with someone, and then you ask the dreaded question, “Now what?” Shouldn’t you feel as though you’ve succeeded? Like you beat the system? But instead of victory, you’re met with a feeling of dread — where do you go from here?
Thankfully, we’re here for all of your dating app questions. From reviews of some of the best dating apps online right now to step-by-step guides helping people figure out how to navigate the beginning processes of all the apps, to now when you’ve set everything up and you’re feeling a bit of stage fright when it comes to figuring out how to actually talk to someone that you like on a dating app.
Online dating can be extremely difficult to navigate and it can be complicated to balance trying to find a match online while also trying to talk to all of the people who you’ve already matched with.
This is why many people will say that the messaging stage on dating apps is one of the most difficult — it’s because, for all of the other steps, you could just follow a set of pre-established rules and guidelines. But now, you’re uncertain about what to do. This is why we’re here.
Tips for Messaging your Tinder Matches
If you’ve matched with someone and you’re trying to make sure that they know you’re interested, here are some great tips on sending Tinder messages to your matches. After all, you never know where it could lead.
Let the Person You’re Messaging Know that You’re Invested
Online dating and matching with someone through a dating app can often make people feel as though they’re stuck in a revolving door of suitors who are coming and going.
Dating apps often operate out of a system that is low risk, high reward. That’s simply because there are so many people who are available on the apps for you to meet and if one doesn’t work out, you can just go back to the swipe desk or return to your other messages that are waiting and pick up there.
This makes some of the connections made and available on the apps feel cheap and undervalued. Many people will send a quick message to let someone know they’re interested, but that’s often the extent of their effort.
Instead of falling into this trap that will eventually lead you nowhere and honestly make the process of trying to find a partner on the apps much more difficult, we suggest that you actually invest the time and energy that is required to get to know the person you’re messaging.
One thing that people notice is when they can tell that you actually took note of what was in their dating app profiles. People put a lot of work and effort into those and they usually do that so they don’t have to answer any of the basic questions that are already clear on their profiles.
If you’re interested in someone, look at what they’ve added in their bios, look through all of their pictures, and try to get a feel for what matters to the person and what you should talk about to let them know that you’re not only interested but you’re also invested in getting to know them.
Message People Frequently
Consistency matters when you’re on a dating app and you’re trying to show someone that you actually want to have a relationship with them. No one wants their boyfriend or girlfriend to be a notoriously bad texter right out of the gate.
Invest the proper amount of time and energy into getting to know someone and make sure that you’re always logging onto the dating app and messaging them for a significant bit of time every single day.
It’s also good to note that you shouldn’t just message someone for the sake of messaging them. Another frequent turn-off for people is when they’re being bombarded with texts or messages that are leading nowhere and they can see that the person is just trying to let them know that they exist.
Instead, make sure that the messages you send to someone are intentional and meaningful. The two of you don’t have to share your deepest, darkest secrets in the first five messages, but your messages should be somewhat engaging and your conversation should be headed in a direction with meaning, not just there to be there.
Know Who’s Worth Investing in
While this might sound a bit cruel, it’s really a point that we like to make to protect yourself from getting dating app burnout. We mentioned that a lot of people tend to dread the messaging stage and it can leave them feeling more burnt out than anything.
This is one of the reasons why it’s so important to know who you really like on the apps and who you might potentially see a future with.
If you’re talking to everyone you match with on the apps and you’re trying to put all of your efforts into each conversion you’re having online, you’re going to get incredibly burnt out and exhausted before you are able to find the one. Or, you might think that you’re putting in the correct amount of effort, but you’re really just floundering.
Instead of doing this to yourself, take a minute to go through all of the potential matches you have and see who is actually going to be worth your time and energy. You don’t want to waste anything on someone who you’re not extremely excited about and they don’t want you to waste your time on them either.
Be True to Yourself
This is and always will be our biggest piece of advice to anyone who is on a dating app. It can be very tempting to pretend to be someone that you’re not when you’re starting online dating and you might be tempted to give into lies and half-truths, especially when you don’t think there will be any consequences.
Not only is that a bad idea because we are all smart enough to know that most of the people who lie about themselves online end up getting caught in some way, shape, or form. But we also discourage lying because then you won’t be able to have as much advantage in the messaging part of the dating app as you would if you just stuck to the truth.
It takes a lot of effort to go along with the lies that you’ve made up online, especially when you’re messaging someone back and forth and you’re not really thinking about covering yourself and keeping up with the lies that you’ve said.
In this case, if someone finds out that you’re lying on a dating app, they will often not give you a second chance because of the low stakes that we mentioned before. In general, it’s best for your success and your energy levels on the apps to simply tell the truth from the start.
But there’s another reason why we encourage you to be true to yourself when you’re starting out online dating. That’s because so many people will get into their heads and worry too much about what they’re saying in their messages and how they might come across.
While we encourage you to create meaningful messages and to make sure that what you’re saying is worthwhile, we also encourage you to stay true to yourself and say what you want to say without being fearful of what will happen.
And let’s be honest, the more of your character that you show on a dating app during the messaging stage, the more you will shine and people will be drawn to your personality.
What Tinder Messages You Should Send
Now that you have a pretty clear idea of how to approach the messaging stage on dating apps, it’s time for the rubber to meet the road.
If you’re not sure about what messages you’d like to send people or how you can come off on the apps, we’ve got you covered here too!
One of the best ways that you can show someone you’re interested in them is to message them with a sweet morning message. Everyone wants to be romanced and swept off their feet when they’re first starting their relationship and dating apps are some of the best places to do that.
Sending a cute morning message to someone that you’ve matched with is a wonderful way to let them know that you’re invested and that you’re excited about pursuing a relationship with them.
Another added bonus that sending an adorable morning message can give you is that they’re pretty generic and you can use them on as many people as you’re interested in. As long, of course, as you make sure that you’re not over-exerting yourself or your resources and you’re just messaging the people that make you excited to talk to them.
Here is a huge list of some of the sweetest morning texts that you can and should send your matches on your favorite dating app.
- Good morning, handsome. I had a dream about you.
- Hi love, I thought about you all night.
- Good morning, can I see you today?
- I need some morning cuddles right now, want to come over?
- Happy Friday! What does your weekend look like and can it involve me?
- My morning would be much more bearable if you were here right now.
- Good morning beautiful, I hope you have a great day.
- Good morning. I had a wonderful time talking to you last night. You’re really something special.
- Happy Sunday! Don’t let the Sunday Scaries get you down. Let me know if you want to do anything to distract you today!
- I woke up with a big smile on my face. I must have dreamt about you.
- Hi love, happy Monday. Check your Venmo, your coffee is on me today.
- Good morning, cutie. I hope you slept well.
- Good morning love. I’m so glad we matched with each other.
- I hope you have a great day today, I’ll be thinking of you the entire time.
- Good morning, I know we said we should meet later this week, but I’d love to take you out for breakfast today if you’re up for it!
- The weather looks perfect today! Let’s go out!
- Good morning. I loved losing sleep last night because I was texting you. Let’s do that again.
- Last night was so wonderful. I’m so happy that I’m getting to know you. I’d love to take you out tonight if you’re free.
- I know I’m supposed to play it cool and wait to text you, but I couldn’t help myself.
- Do you prefer to be the big spoon or the little spoon? I’m asking for research purposes only.
- I wish I had woken up to you this morning.
- Good morning, I miss you, I can’t wait to see you soon!
- I can’t play it cool right now, can I take you out tonight?
- Good morning beautiful, I hope you have an amazing day. I can’t wait to hear about it tonight.
Final Words of Encouragement
As we’ve stated over and over again, online dating can be very difficult and it can be tough to figure out how to navigate all of the ins and outs of how to be yourself online while still trying to make a match.
The messaging stage is notoriously difficult for many people, but when it comes down to it, all that matters is that you’re putting yourself out there and you’re giving online dating all that you can in order to make sure that you can find success on the top dating apps.
And, when it comes down to it, the messaging stage can also be one of the most liberating and exciting parts of online dating for you because this is the stage where you’re allowed to shine and you can finally make real connections with the people who are interested in you and who want to pursue a relationship with you.
Don’t let the stress of what to say or how to act when it comes time to message someone get you down or make you nervous. This is one of the most exciting parts of dating apps and you’re going to do great. Have fun, explore the possibilities, and let whatever happens happen!