From Now On, We’re Going Goblin Mode When We’re Online Dating


It’s no secret that the world of dating has changed significantly in the past few years. With the rise of the pandemic, the rise of dating apps, and the rise of truly not caring what other people think of us when we’re going on dates, there has truly never been a better time to try online dating.

The Oxford Dictionary’s word of the year in 2022, was goblin mode. 

I had never heard of goblin mode before. So I had to do a deep dive into what it meant, what it was, and how people could use it in their dating lives. 

Not shockingly at all, Oxford hit the nail on the head immediately and goblin mode should not only be everyone’s word of this year, but their mantra for the way they approach anything and everything in life. 

We’re near spooky season right now, so we’re encouraging everyone to go into ‘goblin mode’ when they’re dating someone new this year. 

What is Goblin Mode?

Although you might never have heard of the term, ‘goblin mode,’ it has been around since it was first coined on Twitter in 2009. The idea of it resurfaced and now we’re telling anyone and everyone we know to start employing it in their lives. 

Goblin mode is a shortened term for going ‘in goblin mode’ or ‘to go goblin mode’. The Oxford Dictionary describes it as, “A type of behavior which is unapologetically self-indulgent, lazy, slovenly, or greedy, typically in a way that rejects social norms or expectations.”

Similar to the rise of dating apps, going into goblin mode became an extremely popular way to approach dating and online dating in the past few years. 

Although the term doesn’t necessarily need to be used only in regard to dating, we love the freedom that going goblin mode brings to us and the pressure it tends to take off of hopeful individuals who are constantly trying to put their best foot forward. 

While the goblin is often described as cranky, which is incredibly relatable when it comes to dating, they’re also magical little beings that make things interesting and don’t go along with the prescribed ways that people ‘ought to act’. 

And can we just say, finally! It’s about time that the perfect dating model isn’t a prim and proper woman in a 1950s dress with her hair done just so, and instead, it’s a greedy little sprite who wants to cause trouble wherever they go. 

Honestly, I want to be a goblin in every part of my life now.   

How Do You Know if You’re in Goblin Mode?

There is something to be said about going full-steam ahead when you’re starting to date someone and letting them see all of you.

If you’re going to date someone, why would you want to establish a rule or a norm in your relationship that’s constricting and that doesn’t allow the real you to shine? Whoever you’re dating is going to see the real you eventually. Wouldn’t you rather that meeting be on your terms instead of the opposite?

Also, why is this such a big issue? 

Dating would be so much easier if everyone could agree to stop putting their best foot forward and start putting their cow-slippered, unmanicured, slightly big-foot-sized foot forward as soon as possible when they’re dating. 

It’s time to be real in our relationships and our dating lives, and goblin mode encourages this movement in a way that is not only refreshing but also extremely needed. 

But the rise in popularity of going into goblin mode when you’re dating someone made us think, why don’t we start celebrating goblin mode?

When you search Goblin Mode on Instagram, this drawing pops up, and we need to give it its moment in the sun. The picture depicts a woman going into goblin mode and it makes me giggle. If you’re a woman or maybe just a human in general, you’ve been in the exact position that this woman is in many times before. 

The picture depicts a woman in a messy bed, wearing a mismatched sweatsuit, her hair up in a high bun, snacks all over the place, and her bra off. If you were to ask me, this is my dream day.  

I don’t know about you, but the goblin mode dating trend is one that could not come at a better time and one that we’re all too happy to jump on the bandwagon for with pride. 

Goblin Mode When You’re Dating

Now that you know what this fantastic term means, it’s time to figure out how to use it in your dating life. 

While goblin mode can manifest itself in the form of the aforementioned picture, you can also apply goblin mode to how you approach dating, love, and all of that mess. 

When you embrace goblin mode, you’re not just owning your worth and living up to your truth, but you’re also making sure that the world around you knows and understands those parts of yourself too. 

In goblin mode, we’re no longer playing games and getting our hearts broken, instead, we’re breaking hearts and being truthful about what we’re feeling. 

When we embrace goblin mode, whatever that looks like for each individual, we are telling the world that we have not only arrived, but we’re also not backing down.

While a huge sense of freedom comes from embracing goblin mode, there’s also a new sense of empowerment attached to the phenomenon. 

I think, as a collective society, we’re all done with playing the long game and beating around the bush when it comes to dating and finding someone that we would like to date, whether that’s online or in person. 

Finally, you can decide not to define what goblin mode means for you and you can make decisions at the moment about how you want to present yourself to everyone. 

Whatever going goblin mode means for you and however you choose to apply it, we hope that you have the best time ever causing a little bit of chaos and speaking your mind when it comes to your dating life, because honestly, it’s about dang time. 

Why the Dating World Needs More Goblins

We’ll say it, goblin mode is a necessary and long overdue trend that we are hopping right on. . 

We give a lot of advice about building your dating app profile and how you should act on dating apps if you want to find dates.

I love giving this advice because it’s something not a lot of people have heard before, especially when it comes to advice columns about how to find a date or create the best online dating profile. But it’s also a piece of advice that I don’t think anyone can hear too often. 

There is someone out there who will love you for you. That means even on your most goblin-like days where you haven’t showered or put on a bra or pants in a few days and you’re living off of Door Dash and rom-coms. 

And wouldn’t it be nice to find that person and feel not only accepted but validated and celebrated for all of your weird tendencies? 

Wouldn’t it be nice to not feel as though you had to hide anything that made you unique or, yes, maybe a little strange? 

Wouldn’t it feel like a breath of fresh air to just be yourself and let people know the real you without having to put up a false front for however long you had to?

I’m here to tell you that it is wonderful, and if you’re lucky, you’ll find your goblin too. 

confused woman looking at phone with question mark background and a heart-shaped speech bubble with a surprised face emoji inside of it

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