Hey Guys! Here are the 7 Best Ways to Start a Tinder Conversation


OK, so you’ve set up the best-ever online profile using your hottest pic. But now you’re asking yourself, “What’s next?” You know many people are looking for love online, and you want to find one, but getting the guy (or girl) is challenging if you have no idea how to initiate a Tinder conversation.

But what’s the point of sending a good first message on Tinder if you can’t get anyone to respond? If you want someone to reply, you should know how to start a Tinder conversation, and we’re here to help you out.

These messages aren’t just flirty in the hopes of hooking up-which is what people expect. We take it a step further and give ideas on messages that can start the conversation, which work on many dating sites. However, on Tinder, you’ll definitely hit a home run!

1. State Something Unusual

You want to create your initial impression by beginning with a strong greeting. People don’t want to stand out for doing something embarrassing or creepy, so use a highly unusual greeting that leans on the positive side.

Three of the most popular methods to greet a person in an online dating message are actually poor beginnings. The three top introductions to avoid include:

  • “Hello”
  • “Hi”
  • “Hey”

Do these greetings stand out to you? We don’t think so, either. Sorry if these are your go-to’s, but it’s time to take a chance and switch things up a bit. Starting a Tinder Conversation or a conversation on any other dating app shouldn’t just be a habit. Next time, put a little thought into it.

Instead, use greeting options that are the next three most popular that perform better with response ratings. They include:

  • “What’s up?”
  • “Yo”
  • “How’s it going?”

You might not think these are the perfect initial salutations, but they are more likely to get responses than the traditional “Hello.”

In fact, dating experts suggest it’s better to jump right into the conversation rather than using one of the original three traditional greetings.

What makes a profile interesting? Typically, it’s what’s currently happening in the world today that you can comment on, but nothing too controversial.

You can try “Hey, how are you dealing with this cold weather?” or an uncommon topic, but still general enough NOT to frighten them away.

It would be best if you avoided the following topics, especially during an initial greeting.

  • politics
  • anything sexual in nature
  • religion
  • race

2. Begin with a Question That Leads Somewhere

It’s OK if you have issues with Tinder conversations. Most people do. But of all the online dating message ideas, this one is the simplest: Lead the conversation with a question to get the initial conversation going.

First, look for common ground with your match. Then, start a conversation about it by forming a question. People tend to enjoy talking about themselves, so opening up with a question about them to get things moving is an excellent method to improve your response rate.

The objective is to begin a conversation and not ask a simple or general question like “What’s up?”
Most times, this will likely leave you in limbo.

Even though asking “How’s your weekend?” and “How are you?” are questions, they’re rather general and don’t actually start a solid conversation. These questions tend to elicit a one-word response like “Fine.”

Proper questions keep a conversation rolling, so think of something more specific than a bland “How are you?”

3. Don’t Derail the Tinder Conversation with Compliments and Physical Comments

Please avoid commenting on their physicality because, in the end, it will benefit you if you don’t. Trust us. Tinder conversations are supposed to be, well, conversations! Yes, we all love compliments because they make us feel good, but they don’t open up the opportunity to truly get to know someone through genuine and organic discussion.

This advice rings true for both sexes, but it’s mainly directed toward men since they’re most likely to mention physical appearance.

While it sounds bizarre, no one wants to hear physical comments about their appearance right off the bat. As much as men might like to say these words on dating apps, sending comments like “beautiful,” “hot,” and “sexy” to women will probably lessen your chances of receiving responses.

Besides, women can see right through them and will simply throw you into the “cringy” category. And while we’re at it, save the cheesy pick-up lines, especially if you haven’t met in person. This will give you another one-way ticket to Creepy Town.

So, if you want to give a nice compliment, instead of sending a message saying someone is “hot” or “gorgeous,” mention words like “fascinating,” “awesome,” or “chill.” These particular words guarantee a much higher response rate.

Tinder: How to Message

  • State something unusual
  • Start with questions that go somewhere
  • Don’t comment on physical attributes
  • Be specific
  • Keep and short, sweet, and simple
  • Don’t use “text speak”

4. Be Specific with Your Tinder Conversation

If you’re hopelessly messaging with no goal in sight, then feel free to continue holding a general and vague conversation. But if you want a response, talk about specifics.

Specific interests reference words include “band,” “zombie,” or “literature,” just to name a few of the more popular ones. Leave all the basic reference words alone because research indicates that most “niche” words positively affect messaging.

Try discussing topics that detail what you might have in common with your match or anything else that interests you.

How to Make Her Go Crazy over You with a Tinder Conversation

Suppose you want to get a girl to fall deeply in love with you or even really like you. In that case, it’s important to remember that we love and date in a time when texting reigns supreme, especially regarding a romantic relationship.

Nowadays, it’s not about flowers and candy because, chances are, you will only get that far if you make a great impression via text.

Women don’t sit around and wait by their phones, hoping you’ll call. Instead, they check their cells every few minutes to see if that special guy has returned their text.

That said, it’s more important than ever that any guy interested in a meaningful relationship with a woman has the proper texting skills. Sending inadequate or improper texts may blow your chances even before you get started.

How to Make Her Love and Appreciate You over Text

Make It a Habit of Texting Her

If you want to make her appreciate you, communicate with her regularly and frequently. You can make it a routine to say “Hey” or to ask how her day is going, but casually reaching out when you have nothing important to say makes it clear you understand that being in each other’s daily lives (or however much you decide to text) is an essential part of being in a healthy, romantic relationship.

Unfortunately, regularly asking about her day can make her feel like she’s part of a daily check-off rather than a person you love talking to. If you really want to show her how much you’re into her, send funny stories, memes, and texts about your day, instead.

Why do women love a random text from a guy? A spontaneous text mentioning you two’s fabulous time together will encourage her to type something flirty back.

It will also make it clear that you’ve been thinking about her. If you want to make a woman feel good, tell her that she’s been occupying your thoughts all day.

When you text her, give a little bit of your sense of humor. Doing so reveals so much
about your lighthearted personality. Also, keep the conversations light and fun.
You don’t need (or want) to discuss world peace in a text.

You also don’t need to worry about asking too many questions. If you’re relaxed and being your true self, she’ll likely find your messages endearing and happily play along.

However, you want to avoid sending her a bunch of abbreviations or one-word texts. Of course, texting can be cumbersome when you’re just getting to know someone, but if she’s that important to you, you should take your time and seriously get to know everything about her.

It may be simpler, but sending a quick “Hi!” every half hour does not accomplish that. Use a little originality and watch how much she appreciates it.

Be Open with Your Self-Expression

If she’s on your mind, use your texts to express that. It doesn’t need to be the monologue from Romeo and Juliet or a profound statement of all her uniqueness you love (though that would definitely be something different.)

You also don’t need to be over-the-top in the sentimental department. Instead, be sure to send a text that is all about your feelings in an honest, clear, and concise manner. She’ll get the message. Get in and get out; state your feelings and leave it at that.

Sadly, men are sometimes conditioned not to show their feelings to anyone, especially women. Don’t believe the hype!

When you text her about your feelings towards her, you demonstrate how much you care and that you’re one hundred percent invested in your relationship.

On the other hand, women spend much time in their dating lives dealing with guys who have been taught that if you want to get a woman interested in you, you should hold back on the emotions and even ignore her at times. So, women are thankful when they encounter a romantic, kind guy who doesn’t have an issue with self-expression.

Of course, sex is a part of a man’s (or anyone’s) self-expression, but you don’t just want to text her about how much you liked doing certain sexual things to her body the night before.

It’s great that you’re into her body, but you must show her that she’s more than just a sexual encounter.

Don’t hesitate to tell her if you can’t stop thinking about her sparkling eyes! What women love is a guy who is self-confident enough to get cheesy. After all, isn’t that what romance is all about?

If someone at the office laughs like her, and every time you hear it, it makes you feel all tingly inside, tell her that, too! It’s funny, and she will absolutely love it.

Pause before Getting Too Overly Sexual

There’s a time and place for everything, including intimate and sexual texts. There is a massive difference between “I miss you and can’t wait to be with you again,” and “I want to (beep) you fifty different ways ’til Sunday!”

You can get poetic with it and don’t need to be a writer. Poetry is also considered jotting down how you feel, so speak from the heart, and it will drive her crazy.

Of course, you’re attracted to her and want to see her. If she’s into you, she probably wants the same. But you don’t want to creep her out by suggesting she send you any sexualized picture. Also, please don’t send requests or demands for photos she hasn’t freely sent herself.

5. No Misspellings or Slang

It doesn’t matter which online dating tips you consider if you aren’t literate when you use them. Using slang, lousy spelling, and bad grammar say a lot, and when you use them in a message, it doesn’t make a good impression and is a huge turnoff. Netspeak and slang make you sound lazy and immature, while misspellings make you seem uneducated.

You don’t have to have a 140 IQ to join Tinder, but if you want responses, you should know the difference between “where” and “were.” If you don’t, that’s what spell check is for.

Some major deal breakers include:

  • “Ur
  • “u”
  • “wat”
  • “wont”
  • “2” for the word “two,” “too,” or “to”

Instead, remember your primary school education and put it to good use by using the correct spellings, fully written-out words, and proper punctuation. If this seems too tricky, consider installing editing software that automatically corrects your message as you type.

Correctly written everyday words like “won’t” and “don’t” have an above-average response rate of approximately 35 percent.

However, there are always exceptions to every rule. In this case, the “no textspeak” rule isn’t necessarily set in stone since amusement expressions are accepted. So, go ahead and use “lol” and “haha” as often as you please because both turned out to have an over 40 percent reply rate.

A less popular netspeak term, “hehe” received a 34 percent chance of a response, so put that one on your list, too.

6. Keep a Good Message Ratio

One of the more essential aspects of learning to message on Tinder is always attempting to maintain a 1:1 texting ratio.

Several messages tend to overwhelm the match. Keep your messages within this ratio unless you want someone to throw you in the whack-job category.

If you ever had a person who texted you repeatedly before receiving a reply, didn’t they come off as needy and very annoying? That’s exactly how you don’t want to look! If you message a person multiple times without receiving a reply, it’s the fastest way to turn someone off.

Here’s a tip: once you’ve messaged someone, wait! It seems obvious, but people can get excited to hear from someone, so they message repeatedly.

Even when you think of something new to say, hold off until they message you back. Remember, you don’t want to appear needy or annoying, so chill.

Exercise patience by setting your sights on something new, like the thousands of other singles who will return the interest. If this one doesn’t work out, there are always more fish in the sea.

You may not realize it, but repeat texts send another message other than annoying. It can send an “I am a douchebag who doesn’t understand boundaries” message, so resist the urge and don’t send multiple texts.

7. Make Tinder Conversation Short and Simple

Your initial message should be short and straightforward. Express your interest in their profile but add one or two questions about something you share in common.

Unfortunately, a long, drawn-out message with several lines or paragraphs is considered too much and can sometimes overwhelm and turn off the one receiving it. Sadly, you risk coming on too strong when you over-write, so they may not even finish the entire message.

The first message’s goal is to hopefully continue the conversation
by leaving the receiver wanting to know more–as opposed to knowing way too much.
Also, create a message that makes a conversation simple to continue.

Some people make the mistake of asking a laundry list of questions that range on many topics. Instead, pick one topic or detail you like or something you’re interested in knowing more about and stick with that.

Final Thoughts

Millions of people use Tinder and other online dating sites to find their perfect match, so if you don’t want to get lost in the shuffle, you need to create an eye-catching profile.

Then use some of these tips to increase your chances of a response. Remember, be patient, and soon you’ll find The One. Happy Dating!

man and woman in forest smiling at each other with book and heart icon next to them

Storytelling and Relationships | Sharing Authentic Experiences to Build Connection

Do you want to hear a scary story? Joking! It’s not spooky, we just wanted to get your full attention. And now that we have ...
woman looking at phone with hearts and community of people in the background

The Role of Dating Apps in Connecting Rural Communities

Love can sprout in the most unexpected of places, and in the digital age, dating apps have become fertile soil (sorry) for bringing together people ...
woman embarrassed while on date

Catfished or Just Bad Lighting? How to Navigate the Surprise of Deceptive Dating Profile Pictures

For dating app users, swiping right to actually meeting up IRL has become as routine as that first cup of coffee—but that doesn’t make it ...