Dating app bios are the digital doorway to interacting with potential romantic partners. While some opt for writing earnest profiles, others let their freak flags fly wild, resulting in some of the weirdest and most unforgettable bios you’ll see.
Let’s take a lighthearted look at some of the peculiar dating app profiles we have seen– some are funny, and some are so strange that they have left dating app regulars wondering, “Did I just read that or am I hallucinating?”
The Animal Whisperer
Browsing through dating app profiles on your preferred platform is usually pretty tame. But every once in a blue moon, you could come across someone who claims to have a psychic connection with animals. For those of you who have not seen The Beastmaster (a classic, shame on you), allow us to elaborate.
The Beastmaster revolves around a man who can communicate with animals without saying a word—he thinks it, and they hear it. His animal companions include two sneaky ferrets, a panther, and a falcon. They are his friends and partners in crime. Now, this is a movie. But we have seen a few people on dating apps claiming this ability, and we aren’t sure if they are copying the 1982 film, lying to impress potential matches, or truly believing they have this gift.
The Quirky Superpowers
Methinks that the MCU and DC universes have crossed over onto dating apps, as we have seen some dating app bios where men claim to possess superpowers. We are not joking, and we don’t think they are either!
Sure, we can detect a fun bio where they claim to be as fast as The Flash if a potential match is looking for a late-night hookup. That’s witty and pretty accurate! But some of them seem deadly serious about having a supernatural ability to turn invisible—and they aren’t talking about using a dating app’s incognito feature so they can browse matches on the sly.
The Astrology Aficionado
This one is for the ladies, and it’s a pretty common dating app bio—the astrological/tarot card reader/psychic. It can be one of those or a combo of all three!
There is nothing wrong with being into any of these things; who doesn’t read their horoscope? That being said, when the entire dating profile is dedicated to the darkish arts of claiming you have psychic abilities a la Drew Barrymore in Firestarter, that’s when we do a double take.
BUT if you get a match who wants to do your birth chart or do a tarot reading, why not? It’s an interesting experience at worst and a potential psychic partner at best! If they are a real one, they’ll be able to tell you if your relationship will stand the test of time.
The Foodie Fanatics
We love food. We also need it to survive. However, some take their love of fare to another level, and that level is fanaticism. Yes, pizza is delicious. So is sushi! It seems as if loving food is all the foodies do—it’s a personality at this point.
We aren’t being mean; we swear! Ok, maybe a little judge-y. Our advice is if you come across a dating app bio that only talks about their love of exotic cuisine and you match with them, you’d better be a foodie as well and get ready to EAT. And if you aren’t, you’ll at least get a fantastic meal on the first date!
The Conspiracy Theorist
Conspiracy theorists aren’t as few and far between as they used to be due to the proliferation of social media and people’s mistrust of the mainstream media, but some are truly wild.
We came across one today that stated, “If you think the OceanGate submersible imploded, you are a moron. Those billionaires are living tax-free in the Cayman Islands. It was a hoax!”
That dating app bio does two things—it makes you wonder if there is a possibility of it being a hoax and insults you if you think it isn’t. Either way, you’re engaged and maybe curious enough to go down a Reddit rabbit hole about the submersible!
The Cereal Connoisseur
This one is our all-time fave wild dating app bio, and it is more common than you think. Most people eat breakfast and never give it a second thought. Not the cereal connoisseurs, no sir!
They live, breathe, and eat cereal like it is a full-time job, and it’s impressive. They have an entire ranking system, from crunch factor to how soon it gets soggy when milk enters the bowl to sugar content to the best texture and flavors. They have rated it and are passionate about their beliefs if it involves cereal.
We admire these people and encourage you to match with one if you see them on any of the mainstream dating apps—you could learn a lot about the breakfast bowls and even discover a new favorite cereal with marshmallows that turn your milk from white to a flavorful rainbow!
Wild dating app bios are not just entertaining to read, but they can start lively conversations and debates if you interact with the person on the other end!
In a world of boring bios, unique and fun ones certainly stand out and get a second glance instead of an immediate swipe left. We applaud these creative bio crafters, and if any of you Beastmasters are reading this, hit us up—we want to see you communicate with a grizzly bear. We’ll be doing it from a mile away, clutching bear spray in one hand and binoculars in the other, but we still want to witness it.