How 9 Little Things Can Make or Break Your Relationship


When you’re in the honeymoon phase, you’re undoubtedly in a delightful, romantic phase of your relationship.

Unfortunately, it’s the post-honeymoon stage that strains the relationship. This phase is when you and your partner begin experiencing the many highs and lows of what will make or break your relationship with your partner.

So What Makes or Breaks Your Relationship during This Phase?

Now that all the politeness is over and you’re down to the nitty gritty of the inner workings of your connection, the reality of your partnership begins. The following are some things that can elevate your relationship, or they can cause more friction.  

  • How you treat one another
  • Major life events you encounter as a couple
  • Your respective love languages
  • Other factors

These events and traits are also significant because you both can gain a lot of clarity about the current status of your relationship and where it’s potentially headed.

9 Things That Can Make or Break Your Relationship

Sometimes we come to a crossroads in a relationship. You may question whether your partner is “the right one” for you. Or you may be confused about whether your relationship is on a long-term course. 

When you have these thoughts, you’re not alone. Relationships are all about growing individually but also growing together. The following list will assist and guide you to help you know where your and your partner’s relationship stands.  

1. Can You Work Well Together?

If you think we’re referring to having the same (or similar) jobs or being in the same specialized field–we’re not. 

Instead, we’re referring to you and your partner doing something similar together, for example, putting together a piece of furniture, building a deck, or remodeling the kitchen. 

Regardless of the size of the project, can you work together in harmony, or is there a lot of clashing of ideas behind the scenes? 

If you can cohesively take on these projects that require both of your involvement, you stand a better chance at maintaining a long-lasting relationship. 

2. The Listening Skills of You and Your Partner

You might not know this, but there is a big difference between listening and hearing. Often, people confuse the two and use them interchangeably, thinking they’re the same thing. But they’re not. 

You can hear what your partner says to you and not actively listen without interrupting each other. When you truly listen, you have mastered the art. 

Active listening skills include:

  1. Paying attention
  2. Holding back judgment
  3. Reflecting
  4. Clarifying
  5. Summarizing
  6. Sharing

It’s vital to actively listen to others, especially your partner. If you lack these skills, it can severely impact the quality of your communication.

3. Are You Compatible Sexually?

Having good, regular sex with your partner is vital in a healthy relationship, so sexual compatibility is one factor that can make or break your union. 

There is no such thing as too much sex unless it negatively impacts your daily living (ex, sex addiction). So if you and your partner are sexually active regularly, that’s good. It’s even better if you both enjoy it. 

However, on the flip side, little or no sexual chemistry can be a big deal-breaker. Plus, if the sex is boring, tedious, or just plain bad, it’s something that you and your partner need to work on together. 

Ways to Develop More Sexual Chemistry When It’s Not There

Believe it or not, being instantly attracted to someone doesn’t necessarily equal a happy, healthy relationship. Whether or not it will work out requires more than immediate chemistry, so if you don’t have it right away, there are ways to get it. 

Over time, you can develop sexual attraction as long as you both connect in other ways like:

  • interests/hobbies
  • personality
  • communication
  • a sense of humor

If you’re concerned that you and your partner lack chemistry and aren’t in sync sexually, it could be a sign you shouldn’t be in a relationship. However, before you dump your partner, to be sure, it’s worth taking a deeper look.

Sadly, sometimes people leave a relationship too quickly, assuming the worst. Furthermore, when there’s no chemistry, it can make it more difficult to find a reason to stay. 

But if you’re making connections on other levels and know you genuinely like this person in your heart, it’s worth giving it a shot. 

It’s pretty common to develop that passion over time as you become more open and comfortable around each other. Here are some ways to build more sexual chemistry in a relationship.

Try a Few More Dates

No spark? No problem. Give it time, especially if you notice other positive traits about your love interest. Sometimes it takes a minute to get the engine running on full steam, so go out a few more times to see if, at the very least, there’s connection potential. 

Instead of forcing something romantic, try a more fun date, like a cooking class or a trip to the zoo. Take a Saturday day trip to the next town over. When you give it some time, the chemistry may develop naturally. 

Explore the Senses

When you connect with an individual you can see yourself having a relationship with, but the sexual chemistry isn’t there yet, begin exploring your partner’s senses, taste, and smell.

Think of it as going on a hike. Sometimes you must deal with a not-so-exciting trail to get to a beautiful place that’s wonderful, exhilarating, and mesmerizing. So, explore your five senses with your partner to see if you can develop some sexual chemistry. 

For example, try their favorite food. What does it smell like? What ingredients do you taste? Listen to their favorite band, or watch their favorite TV show. Use the five senses to get to know them on a different, more sexual level.  

Find the Funny

Sometimes, the best chemistry is laughter. Whether they make you giggle or have you rolling on the floor, it’s a good sign for developing more sexual attraction. 

Do you both have the same sense of warped humor and laugh at the same jokes? Studies indicate that a woman would rather have a funny guy with mediocre looks than a hot guy with no personality. 

Laughter gets you through life’s tough times, so if you can laugh a lot with this person, who knows, you may eventually fall in love. In another recent survey on what women find attractive about men, a sense of humor is in the top 3.

Go on Regular Date Nights

Making time for date nights can help ignite a flame and create a romantic mood. Plus, you can make your connection more intimate when you have an at-home date night. 

Try setting aside one night weekly for an at-home date night. Create an atmosphere full of romance with candles, bubble baths, and quiet dinners. Turn off all your electronics and focus on each other and the conversation. 

Talk about Sexual Fantasies

Sometimes, all it takes is planting an idea into your partner’s mind. This is where sharing sexual fantasies come in. When you’re open about sexual adventures, it can create a need to try new moves. 

If you’re impatient, try using a little visualization and imagination to encourage sexual chemistry to help speed things up a bit.

Remember, Sex Isn’t Everything

Sex and sexual chemistry are not the same things. Instead of focusing on sex, concentrate more on kissing, massage, and sexual touching–in other words, everything but intercourse.

Sometimes sex can be the least sexy part of being personal and intimate. Additionally, sex doesn’t help to build chemistry. Instead, the acts mentioned above are more sensual and encourage attraction. 

Try slowing things down. Enjoy other intimate forms because they are the foundation for a solid and robust physical connection. 

Share Sensuous Media Clips

Sometimes, when you want to heat things up a bit, sharing a visual clip of others can help. Share snippets from sexy tv shows or movies. Talk about what you enjoyed about the video and what you could do without. 

When discussing your desires, you must be open, honest, and completely uncensored. Doing so can help build up some sexual chemistry and tension. Plus, it lets your partner know who you are as a sexual person and understand your likes and dislikes in the bedroom. 

Do a Risky or Scary Activity Together
  • sky diving
  • rappelling
  • bungee jumping
  • cliff diving

The heightened nature of the activity can help foster more profound and genuine feelings with your partner. 

Touch Each Other

When you don’t live together, you don’t see each other all the time. Use this to your advantage. When you do get together, be sure to touch one another physically. Doing so will help see if more sexual chemistry develops.

If you live together, physically touching is still a way to bond. Make it a point to connect once every morning and once in the evening physically. It could be a kiss hello or a hug goodbye. Snuggle on the couch or hold hands while watching TV at night. Non-sexual touching helps build a connection between a couple. 

If you’re in a new relationship and hoping the connection succeeds, but unfortunately, the sexual chemistry is lacking, don’t give up just yet. Try some of these ideas and wait and see what happens. Good luck!

4. Raising a Child (Or Pet) Together

Making time for date nights can help ignite a flame and create a romantic mood. Plus, you can make your connection more intimate when you have an at-home date night. 

Try setting aside one night weekly for an at-home date night. Create an atmosphere full of romance with candles, bubble baths, and quiet dinners. Turn off all your electronics and focus on each other and the conversation. 

5. How You Handle Finances

How you handle finances is one telltale factor in determining what makes or breaks your relationship. But here’s the thing: being on different pages regarding money matters is okay. Not only is it alright, but it’s pretty common. 

Regarding relationships, money is a very sensitive topic and can be a big deal-breaker if there are major differences in saving and spending habits. Many factors affect how you both deal with finances, but how you resolve the issues matters the most.  

Some of the more significant decisions regarding money include how many accounts you’ll have. Who will pay for what? Do you need a joint account, or will you keep separate accounts? All these subjects matter. When you’re on the same page, it makes dealing with money much more straightforward. 

6. Maintaining Balance

Maintaining balance is one thing that makes for a good relationship. You may need more balance if you or your partner feels inferior to the other. No one wants to feel like they’re not good enough or that their opinions and views don’t matter. 

One person shouldn’t dominate the relationship because if the primary decision-maker has the last word in significant (or insignificant matters), it can feel wrong or unfair to the other partner as if their opinion doesn’t matter. 

When you have a balanced relationship, you value each other’s opinions, views, and insights and make all decisions–regardless of size–together. No one’s opinion should be worth more than the other’s. 

7. Cohabitating

If you both recently moved in together, this is a crucial phase in your relationship. Living together is a monumental step because you now share the same space and see each other daily. 

How will you adjust with each other and share household responsibilities? If you split the bills, who pays what? These are things you need to think of before moving in together. Otherwise, your relationship can break if you aren’t on the same page. 

8. How You Deal With Loss

When you and your partner encounter a significant loss, the experience can either build up the relationship or break it down. In other words, you can develop a deeper connection and desire with one another or grow apart. 

Any kind of loss is challenging to deal with. When you lose a loved one or a pet, it can be a difficult obstacle to overcome. But how you both deal with this tough phase is essential. 

If you can be there for each other and support one another, you may develop a deeper connection, which helps you both experience better emotional intimacy. 

Helping Your Partner Deal with the Loss of a Loved One

When your partner is facing a significant loss or the death of a loved one close to them, it’s natural for them to feel upset and heartbroken. Everyone experiences grief differently, so there is no correct or incorrect way to feel at this emotional time. 

However, there is a right or wrong way to handle what they need from you as their supportive partner. Of course, you’re concerned for them, so you want to do what’s right. 

Because people grieve differently, your partner’s needs will differ from others, including you. You must demonstrate love, patience, and willingness during this time. 

Grief may burden your relationship because, ultimately, your partner’s experience of loss is something that you can’t share with them. But you can be supportive.

Your partner may become overwhelmed with emotions, have conflict in thoughts, or may act differently. All of these can become more challenging for you to handle, and that’s okay. You’re there to support the best way you know how.


Your needs may have to be put on hold while you selflessly attend to your grieving partner. During this time, your partner needs to feel love from you. Remember, love is always patient, understanding, kind, and hopeful.

This is a distressing period in your and your partner’s life, but remember it won’t always be this way. While it may be challenging today, that doesn’t mean it will be the same tomorrow or next week. Be patient and show them some love because it will strengthen your bond. 


It’s okay to be silent when you doubt what to say to your partner. Sometimes, silence is essential because you want to be ready when they come to you. Additionally, you can’t say the wrong thing if you’re not saying anything at all, right? 

Understand that silence is okay. It’s also okay if it creates a sense of uncomfortableness. However, try not to react too much because an overreaction can cause tension. 

For example, this isn’t the time to push your beliefs onto your partner. You may think saying certain things will ease their pain (“They’re in a better place now,” and “It was their time to move on.”) Sometimes these sentiments are appreciated, and sometimes they’re not, so don’t take the chance. 

Instead, follow their lead, and if they say something like “They no longer have to suffer,” you can agree, but don’t force them to see the situation in a certain way. Listen to the direction your partner is moving toward with their statements and support them. 


Because we all grieve differently, there’s no set duration or correct sequence of emotions. Your partner’s emotional state may change quickly or take them a long time to recover from the loss. Let them feel their loss as best as possible while you continue supporting them. 

One minute, they may appear happy, but the next, they may start crying. They can feel angry, distressed, or in denial. Whatever they feel, just be sure to support them. 

Since emotions are personal, you cannot rush them. This is when you need to practice patience while your significant other processes their grief through the stages of:

  • denial
  • anger
  • bargaining
  • depression
  • acceptance
Be Giving

If your partner needs to talk, be available. Be willing if they just want to be with you without necessarily having a conversation. 

This is when your partner needs you at a moment’s notice, so let them know you’re there for them. If they need to be alone, don’t get offended. Many people want to deal with the situation independently, but be ready if they need you.

It may help to take over tasks that may be overwhelming to them (cooking, cleaning, doing the dishes.) Don’t be afraid to ask them what they expect of you during their time of loss. But also, be honest about what you can and can’t handle. 

Alleviating your partner from those tedious day-to-day chores gives them tiny pockets of relief and lets them know they’re loved and not alone during this challenging time. 

It’s important to note that you shouldn’t overwhelm yourself when trying to help your partner. Call on your support system if needed, and remember to nurture yourself in this process. 

9. Mutual Respect

It’s expected for couples to have disagreements and arguments. But, how you disagree with each other is key. Refrain from using hurtful or foul language because doing so demonstrates a level of disrespect. 

If you respect each other, it can reflect on how you argue. For instance, if you’re angry at your partner, you still won’t cross certain lines by saying or doing things like striking them or exclaiming, “I hate you!” or “I wish you would die!” 

Once these words and actions come out, you can’t take them back, and even though you’re angry, you should respect your partner enough not to say damaging things like this. Respect is just another essential aspect of a healthy, long-term loving commitment. 

Final Thoughts

As you’ve read, to keep your relationship healthy and strong, plenty of components help make or break your connection. If you consider these pointers seriously, you can find yourself in a relationship that will last a lifetime. 

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