If you’re a Christian who has thought about trying online dating, you’ll know that it’s not always as easy as it seems to find someone good online. The world of online dating for Christians can be tricky.
The sad truth about online dating is that many people take advantage of the fact that it’s an online platform, and they might never actually meet the people with whom they’re talking, and they decide to lie, scam, or bully users online.
While many dating apps have safety and security measures in place to protect their users, nothing is foolproof, and there is always a chance that the person you’re talking to online isn’t really who they say they are.
This is one of the many reasons why honesty is so important when you’re approaching online dating in general, but especially when you’re a Christian who is online dating.
Even though your beliefs might not be as ‘normal’ or popular on any dating app that you’re on, you must stand your ground in your boundaries and stay true to who you are when you’re approaching online dating.
Honesty doesn’t just benefit you, but it makes the entire online dating process better for anyone you might have matched with.
Why Honesty Matters in Online Dating for Christians
Even though the answer to this might be obvious, especially if you’re a Christian and you’re used to a particular set of rules and conducts that you’ve modeled your life after, it’s good to explore all of the reasons why honesty matters when you’re approaching online dating.
There are many reasons, both big and small, why honesty matters when trying out online dating and starting to form a foundation for a healthy relationship.
Honesty is also vital if you’re discussing your faith online. If you’re leading with your Christian beliefs and want to form relationships based on those beliefs at the forefront of your priority list, you also need to act like a Christian and follow some of the most basic Christian practices; honesty is one of them.
While there are millions of reasons why practicing and living out the truth and honesty online are integral to you having a great online dating experience, we want to highlight some of the most important reasons.
Here are some of the biggest reasons why honesty matters when online dating for Christians.
Honesty Sets You Apart from the Crowd
As Christians, we are called to be in the world, but not of it. Even though that scripture often means that we will stand out in a crowd and that most of the other people in the world won’t follow the same rules as we do, we need to stay steadfast to our beliefs and core values.
One of the ways that we can do that when we’re approaching the world of online dating for Christians is to remain truthful in every aspect of our profiles, messages, and even when we meet our dates in person.
I know how tempting it can be to share a little white lie or expand on the truth a bit when crafting your online dating profile, especially when you know that over 80% of dating app users lie in some way, shape, or form. Still, we must remember that we are not called to blend into the crowd and get ahead based on lies and deceit.
The Bible is very clear that Christians should not lie for any reason and that they should be sure their sins should find them out if they do. God is not a god of lies and darkness, but of truth and light. If you’re going on a dating app, and especially on a dating app, talking about how you’re a Christian, don’t shroud yourself in lies; instead, walk in the truth.
At the end of the day, telling the truth is not only what we, as Christians, are called to do, but it will also make our lives so much easier.
I think it’s always important to remember that God doesn’t give us rules or guidelines to make our lives miserable, but so that we can live an easier life in the long run. In the case of telling the truth, God not only wants us to walk in the light and according to His will, but He also doesn’t want us to constantly try to cover ourselves or continue to get caught up in any of the lies we spun.
At the end of the day, telling the truth is always easier than lying.
Luke 6:31 says, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” We have all heard some version of this Bible verse preached to us a million times by now, especially if you grew up in the church. This gospel truth is one of the pillars of how Christians should act when approaching anyone else.
Even though others might not receive the kindness that we give to them, and they might not do unto us as we have done unto them, Christians are always called to be the Light and be kind to others, even when they’re not kind to us.
The same idea goes for being honest and truthful when approaching online dating for Christians. No one ever wants to get scammed, gaslit, or lied to when looking for the love of their life. That’s also not something people should necessarily need to be mindful and careful of. We have enough on our plate when we’re online dating without having to add making sure that everyone we’ve matched with is actually who they’re saying they are.
And because we don’t want people to lie to us on their dating app profiles, we shouldn’t lie to them.
Even though any lie you tell might be tiny, and you might not think it will matter in the long run, it’s for the best that you just don’t lie at all. That way, you have taken the high road, and even though your profile might not be as flashy as you might like it to be, or you might have to share certain aspects about yourself that you’re not too fond of, you will have followed one of God’s commandments, and that makes it worth it.
The Truth Will Always Come Out
Sadly, many people try to lie on their profiles when setting up their dating app accounts. While many people might think that a little lie here and there won’t matter in the long run, if they ever feel that they’re going to meet their matches in person, they have to assume that their lies will find them out.
I met a guy on Tinder who claimed to be all of these things and talked about all the amazing experiences he had before meeting me, and I got so sick of it because it just couldn’t be true that I started to second-guess everything he ever told me.
Because of this, people often get stuck in a web of lies that they have spun for themselves, and all of a sudden, they can’t even remember the lies that they were supposed to keep up with, and all of the truth comes out eventually.
The sad truth about lying is that it’s a slippery slope, and once you’ve gotten away with or started on one lie, it can be hard not to tell another lie.
Even though some dating app users will tell one lie, whether big or small, and assume that it’s the last one they’ll tell, often they will get addicted to the feeling of lying and the opportunity to seem better than they are and will soon become addicted to telling lies.
Another thing to think about is that if you tell a lie about your appearance, accent, or something that could be easily found out if someone actually met you, you’re not going to be able to meet any of the people you’re talking to online without giving away your lie. In that case, it is much easier to tell the truth and allow yourself to have an opportunity to meet people from dating apps in person.
Instead of getting wrapped up in all of the lies you’ve told and having to carry on a fake persona for the rest of your time on a dating app or in a relationship, stick to telling the truth and don’t get mixed up in the darkness.
No One Wants to Start a Relationship Based on Lies
We all need to remember that people go on dating apps because they’re trying to find a relationship. Very few people, if any, want to go on a dating app, get flirted with, and then leave.
Because so many people are looking for something long-term and serious, they ought to proceed and act in the way they would like to once in a relationship.
If someone creates their online dating profile or persona and fills it with lies and deceit, not only will that be hard to keep up for the duration of a relationship, but they’re also starting a relationship off in a way that will be damaging to both parties in the long run.
No one wants to date a liar, and the liar can’t keep up with their lies for long, so the truth will eventually come out. And once the truth is out and the lies have been brought into the light, many times, the people who were lied to won’t want to continue on in the relationship because their entire has been built and based on lies.
We don’t blame you if you want to find a long-term and healthy relationship due to your time spent on a dating app. We actually want that for you as well. But if you’re trying to start or obtain the relationship based on lies, there’s nowhere for it to go, and it will fall apart before you know it, just like the lies you told to get yourself in the relationship.
Even though you might be tempted to believe that a falsified or gussied-up version of yourself might be more alluring to other users on dating apps, the best version of yourself is actually your most authentic and honest version.
You Might Miss an Opportunity for Someone to Love the Real You
This is something that we often say when we’re dissuading people from lying on dating apps. Millions of people go on dating apps looking for different people, relationships, and a myriad of other factors you cannot know and cannot plan for.
While you might think that lying about your appearance on your dating app profile or muddying the truth about what you’re interested in might make you appear more attractive and get more matches, you are more likely to miss out on the people who would actually like you for you and not just a ‘perfect’ and over-edited version of yourself.
My fiancé is an excellent example of this. He is not a fan of girls with too much makeup or who look posed in every picture. Because of this, he swiped left on several women who appeared ‘perfect’ online and carefully crafted their profiles to meet the male gaze.
While we’re not against you catering to a specific audience when crafting your dating app profile, we still want your personality and true self to shine once you’ve made your profile.
Frequently, people will see through the majority of the lies or edits that others make on their profiles and completely write them off because they can smell deceit. We’re all a little flawed and have days when we don’t look our best.
Wouldn’t it save so much time, energy, and potential heartbreak if we just presented the real version of ourselves online and let people decide if they wanted to pursue a relationship with us?
When you think about it, dating apps are the perfect place to be as natural and genuine as possible because they’re also the place where most people are looking for the same thing. I always say that going on a dating app is where you get to mess up the most in your dating life because they’re the place with the lowest stakes and the highest rewards.
Sure, you’re not going to be everyone’s perfect match, and you don’t need to be. Honestly, that would get old really quickly. But if you present your true and honest self online, you will find a number of people who are attracted to you, even in all of your flaws. And isn’t that what we’re all looking for when we’re on dating apps?
We want to find someone who will love us on our Monday mornings just as much as they love us on our Friday nights.
If you start your dating app journey shrouded in lies and present yourself as someone you’re not, you’re limiting your chances of finding genuine love. You’re also not letting people who would love to love you in all of your glorious mess get to know the real you. And that’s cheating both yourself and those people.
Wrapping It Up, Honestly
Even though telling the truth is a good rule to follow in your life in general, it’s imperative to follow this rule when you’re trying out online dating.
Not only is telling lies wasting your time and energy better spent investing in finding a perfect match for you and getting to know them personally, but your lies will almost always find you out.
You don’t want to be limited to only talking about certain aspects of yourself or constantly making sure that everything you say stays in the liens of your lies, but you also don’t want some fake version of yourself to find love and success with online dating. You want the real version of yourself to walk away from the time you spent on a dating app with an honest and genuine connection to someone who likes you for you and not just some edited version of yourself that you presented online.
Online dating for Christians can already be complicated to navigate and deal with when you’re trying to find someone. But one thing that is sure to make your experience with online dating 10 times harder than it already would be is to have to keep a lie and charade up for the entire time you’re on the app.
Instead, it’s much easier to begin your online dating journey with truth and allow God to bless your path and lead you to the person who you will want you and everything that that means.