The Cougar’s Guide to Dating App Success | Strategies for Attracting and Keeping Younger Partners


While some older ladies may take offense to the term “cougar,” it is not derogatory. Many young men and older women agree that it’s a source of pride. Cougars are hot and in demand on dating app –so much so that entire dating apps are devoted to these lovely ladies.

What traits do the female cougars have? Women of a specific age who date or otherwise have relations with men much younger than themselves are called “cougars.”

Cougars are women in their 40s and 50s who date guys 10-20 (or sometimes 30) years more youthful than themselves. We stan a confident cougar who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go for it, and we applaud the younger men, or “cubs,” who recognize all that an older, experienced woman can offer in a relationship and want that in a partner!

Are you an established woman on the hunt for a younger man? If so, read on for the cougar’s guide to dating app success: strategies for attracting and keeping younger partners.

Here is how to attract and maintain a younger guy who can appreciate and support your fiery, dynamic self!

1. Never Think of Yourself as a ‘Cougar’

Women often dislike being labeled as a “cougar” because of the phrase’s negative connotation. It suggests that mature women actively seek out and pursue younger men (“cubs”) as if they were prey. Yet, it is almost always younger males that approach older women and make the first move.

But labels are seldom a good idea, and distancing yourself from that word can help you overcome whatever apprehension you feel about being with a younger guy.

2. Be Confident and Know Your Worth

Confident women of any age draw the attention of men, and you can (and should always) use this to your advantage. Younger women are more inclined to date “bad guys,” have greater insecurity, and play mind games with the guys they date because they are still finding out who they are in the world.

Women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s, on the other hand, tend to be more secure in their identities and no longer engage in the mind games that plagued their younger relationships. 

This is a massive attraction for many younger guys to women of a certain age bracket. Remember that you have plenty to give any guy, regardless of his age, who deserves your time and interest. 

3. Understand What You Want

Know what kind of relationship you’re looking for before going on a date. What type of relationship do you seek? Is it a casual encounter, a long-term commitment, or something more serious, such as marriage? 

Without clear expectations, it’s impossible to tell whether a potential match is a good match. That’s like doing job interviews without knowing what position you’re trying to fill—that’s how younger women date, and you have been there, done that. Know what you want and make it clear on dating apps!

4. Be Fearless

You’re not in un-chartered waters here, as it’s likely you’ve been married previously and either have children or have made the conscious decision not to have any. No one can make or break you, and you know it, which is super appealing to younger guys–that confidence that comes with age.

As older women are less likely to hurry into a commitment, it relieves a great deal of pressure on them and the relationship. They keep dating until they find the right one and know that dating isn’t always a precursor to marriage, so not going on a second date slides right off their backs. One guy not replying to your message is no biggie. 

5. Communicate Clearly

In the event that things develop into a relationship, it is important to keep lines of communication open. You and your partner should have a frank discussion about your hopes, wishes, and worries. You should find out whether he is interested in starting a family, and if you are beyond the stage of having kids or don’t want children, this will be a deal breaker for you. 

If having kids isn’t a deal breaker, you’ll have more opportunities open to you in future relationships. 

You should probably address the big elephant in the room and speak about how you’ll manage things if your families disapprove of the relationship. Feel free to talk about your mutual attraction to each other and why you choose to date outside of your typical age range. But avoid doing this on the first couple of dates and instead wait till things are growing more serious.

6. Never Expect the Relationship Isn’t Going to Work

While this is true of every relationship, some women worry that dating a younger guy will lead nowhere. There is no reason why a partnership between an older lady and a younger guy can’t succeed so long as they are able to communicate well and treat each other with respect. If you’re not just looking for a quick fling, don’t place a predetermined deadline on your relationship! Unless you’re already involved, you have no idea what you’re in for.

7. Be Ready for Scrutiny

Although society as a whole is growing more tolerant of seeing older ladies with younger men, there will always be some who make nasty “jokes” or raise their eyebrows at the sight. No one else’s opinion will be significant so long as the duo is secure in their relationship. Your loved ones may have had their doubts at first, but they’ll come around after realizing how happy you make one another!

8. Don’t Expect Him to Cheat On You

You may worry that he may start to find you less appealing as you age. Once you’ve been dating long enough for noticeable bodily changes to occur, you should feel more than just a physical attraction to one another. He could care less about your age if he’s a cheater–cheaters gonna cheat no matter WHO they are with.

He’s getting on in years, too, so you could possibly trade up for someone newer and better–make sure he knows it and doesn’t forget it.

9. Be His Partner, Not His Mom

Being older and wiser than a younger guy will make you a mentor figure to him in many ways. As a result of their greater success and experience, younger men look up to older women more than women of the same age. Loving and guiding someone is great, but you should be cautious not to step over into the “mom” area. 

If there is a loss of balance in a relationship, the spark between the two people will eventually fade out, ultimately leading to the couple’s breakup.

10. Celebrate Your Differences

It’s a prevalent misconception that older women can’t possibly find a suitable partner in a younger guy. Find joy in discovering each other’s different tastes in music, interests, and life experiences. Because of these differences, the relationship will continue to seem new and exciting.

11. Practice Self-Care

You probably already care about your health if you’re the sort of woman who attracts and entices younger guys. You’re probably more free-spirit and strong-willed than most ladies your age. But, young men as a whole aren’t exactly recognized for their exemplary health habits. 

Although it may be true that age has little bearing on romantic prospects, the same cannot be said for physical health. Remember that your metabolism is no longer that of a 20-year-old. If you let your nutrition and exercise routine fall by the wayside, you will lose the vitality, stamina, and youthful appearance that made your sexy young stud fall in love with you in the first place. 

Your sexy cub is probably keeping you active enough in the bedroom that skipping a few Pilates classes won’t be noticeable.

12. Know When to Call It

It’s common for women in their twenties to date with the goal of finding “the one” who will make them feel loved, whole, and content. When older ladies date, it’s about keeping their partner happy and showing love. Men’s moods, schedules, and personal space requirements don’t affect cougars as much—when it comes to men’s emotions, older women have more perspective, take things less personally, and have separate lives to worry about. 

Recognizing and understanding when a man’s heart is no longer in something is another benefit of age. You were established and mature when the relationship started while he was still developing and becoming himself.

Depending on the situation, this might indicate growing apart or closer together. Even though parting ways with someone is never easy, there are times when it’s important to end it in order for both of you to be happy.

Final Thoughts

For a mature woman, dating a younger guy can feel thrilling, enjoyable, and scary all at once, and not everyone is cut out for a December-May romance. It takes a strong lady to break with convention and risk social disapproval by dating a younger guy!  

Ultimately, the age gap shouldn’t matter so long as you’re both happy and loving one other’s company. As long as the two of you are compatible, dating a younger guy is the same as dating a man your own age.

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