More and more people are starting to crack the code to get to know their partners better and deeper. What is that code, you might ask? It’s simpler than you might have ever thought it could be — it’s just learning about your partner, knowing what makes them tick, and understanding their core personality.
One of the best ways to learn about your partner and the things that go on inside the innermost corners of their brains is to explore the results of their personality tests. I know that a number of you will cringe when I say personality tests. We’ll be honest; we can also get a little burnt out on them, but knowing which personality and how your partner’s brain works is one of the most accurate and wisest ways to get to know your partner well. Personality tests are some of the best ways to learn more about themselves and the people they love.
And, by investing the time and energy that it takes to get to know your partner and learning about how they see and respond to the world, you will not only be able to love them better and love them in a more profound and more complex way, but you will also be able to predict how they might handle certain situations or feelings when they arise.
While it can sometimes seem like every other day, a new personality quiz or test is popping up, and everyone ‘needs to take it’ to learn more about themselves than they ever would have thought possible before, there are some very tried and true personality tests that we like to refer to and reference a lot, especially when it comes to getting to know your partner to their core and understanding how to treat them, love them, and excite them.
What Makes the Myers-Briggs One of the Best Personality Tests
If you’ve heard of all of the personality tests by now, or if you’re used to hearing about some of the more popular ones in passing, you’ll probably know which one we’re going to recommend the most for getting to know your partner. That is the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator test.
This unique test has some of the most-used tools for understanding others’ personalities and preferences about the world. Many people use the results they glean from the Myers-Briggs personality test to better understand how they communicate and see the world from their own vantage point.
The more familiar you are with your results, and what they might mean for you and your personality, the better you can learn how to communicate, make decisions, manage conflict, and navigate change every day. This not only helps you on a personal level with everything you might deal with in a day, but if you focus on your partner’s results, you can also learn about the world from their point of view.
One of the reasons we love utilizing the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test in relationships is because it’s not pie-in-the-sky, this is what color you see the world as; this is your spirit animal kind of personality test. While those personality tests are fun to take, and it might be beneficial for some people to know their niche results in that aspect, the Myers-Briggs test really strips down everything else, and it gets to the meat and potatoes of the most basic way people see the world.
When trying to understand and learn about your partner on a deeper level, you probably know all of the outer parts of their personality and what they might gravitate toward on a given day. Still, it’s the real reactionary point of view that the Myers-Briggs test provides, which is why we think it’s one of the strongest contenders for learning about your partner at a base level.
A lot of times, when you introduce personality tests into your relationship, and you and your partner start to dissect each other’s behaviors and decisions based on the results you get from the tests, it can simultaneously make all the sense in the world why they got the results that they did, but you also might be shocked by some of their answers.
Because you will more than likely never know everything there is to know about your partner or their personalities, doing something like the Myers-Briggs personality test together and looking through the results with each other is not only going to strengthen your relationship but it will also allow the two of you to take a deeper dive into what you thought you knew about each other and what you can actually learn now.
How Does the Myers-Briggs Test Work?
Now that we’ve talked your ear off about the test and how wonderful it is to improve your relationships, communication, and basically everything about your life, you might want to know what the test is like.
The Myers-Briggs results are divided into four categories with two different results. Depending on your personality and the preferences that you decide on, you will get one of eight corresponding letters, depending on which personality type you identify the most with.
While you can get many results from the test, it’s not nearly as complicated as it seems at first.
The sections are relatively self-explanatory. There’s extraversion vs. introversion, sensing vs. intuition, thinking vs. feeling, and judging vs. perceiving. Even if you identify strongly with one of these options, it’s always good to take the test, so you can know which one you lean towards. Many people get surprised by their results, and it’s always fun to learn something new about yourself while you’re also learning about your partner.
How the Myers-Briggs Can Help Your Relationship and Your Dating Life
By now, you probably get the picture that the Myers-Briggs test will not only improve how you and your partner can communicate, navigate change, learn about each other on a whole new level, and improve nearly every other aspect of your relationship.
It’s not a new concept whatsoever to bring a personality test into your relationship and learn about each other from those results.
In fact, if you and your partner are considering couples therapy or thinking about getting to know each other better on different levels, many people decide to first try to get to know each other through the lens of their different personality types.
The Myers-Briggs test has been the foundation of many couples’ success stories and the starting point for much of their growth when it came to learning about each other and understanding the world from the other’s point of view.
Because, let’s be honest, no matter how much you love someone, and no matter how long you’ve known them, there will always be mysteries about that person, and you will never be able to completely see the world through their eyes.
That’s when the results from the test come in handy and can help you start your journey to learning about and loving every hidden aspect of your partner.
But knowing your and your partner’s Myers-Briggs types can also help you learn how to love them, what to do to serve and bless them, and how to date them.
Yes, one of the biggest reasons the Myers-Briggs test results help us with relationships so much is because the quiz results are often the antithesis of surface level. Instead, you learn how each type interacts with the world and its corresponding letters.
Someone who is an EFIJ is entirely different from someone who is an IFIJ. And because of this differentiation, there are no one-size-fits-all answers for any section on the quiz! Instead, one can continue to break down every aspect of each type to get the most precise reading and understanding of your partner.
When approaching your and your partner’s results, try not to solely focus on one aspect or one number from their results but on their entire personality as a whole instead. That’s why the results of the Myers-Briggs test are often jumbled together and joined because you are not just an extrovert, feeler, or judger. You are four distinct personality traits meshed into one.
If you’re starting to utilize the Myers-Briggs test results in your relationship or are curious as to how to do that, here are some of the best ways to date every type in the Myers-Briggs.
How to Date Each Myers-Briggs Type
Even though we’re going to give you as many recommendations and ideas as we can, dating will never be a one-size-fits-all thing. Even though someone might be the same ‘type’ as we’re describing, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they will like every date we’re suggesting.
But because of the differences, we want to provide you with a healthy helping of multiple options and choices when thinking about the best ways to date your partner and what they might like or dislike. Even though we cannot guarantee anything, we want to give you many options to choose from to make the next step in your dating life the best one yet!
Christie Tcharkhoutain, a professional matchmaker and marriage and family therapist, is an expert in the Myers-Briggs test and what the results can mean for all types of couples. As we break down the classes and their ideal dates, her guidance will also help us throughout the journey.
Here are the best date ideas for each Myers-Briggs personality type.
If you’re dating or in a relationship with someone who identifies with an ENFP personality type, then you’ll want to add a healthy dosage of surprise and spontaneity into all of your dates. These people crave memorable experiences that are usually off the cuff and thought up about five seconds before they’re in motion.
The bigger, the better with these date ideas. You should plan a surprise trip for your ENFP partner and not tell them you’re going somewhere until you pull up to the airport.
Another thing you might want to remember when trying to find the best date idea for your ENFP partner is not to just do one thing for a date. Instead, spice things up and make the date a two-parter.
We’re not telling you that you have to go to a different country or have a once-in-a-lifetime experience every date night with this type, but you might want to put a little bit of extra thought into your date plans and not always go with the safest option.
Remember, these are the feelers of the Myers-Briggs, so you might want to do something that is special to the two of you and will lead to a better connection at the end of the night.
Date Night Ideas for ENFPs:
- An at-home dinner date night
- A memorable anniversary trip to a place the two of you care about
- A sip and paint date night
- Making pancakes at midnight
- Go to a play or a musical that they’d enjoy
Dating the ISTJ
This is the Myers-Briggs type that will love all the small little gestures you do for them and will take it to heart when you’re kind or do something personal for them. If they mention something they’ve always wanted to do or something they’ve always found interesting in passing or in a conversation, it is a wise idea to note that and remember what they said for a rainy day.
Attention to detail and small gestures go a long way for this type.
This type is full of very straightforward thinkers. While they might come off as disinterested sometimes, they’re really just in their heads constantly.
Listen to their interests and try to find a place to go to that will show that you’re invested in what they like. If your partner is a history buff, try a ghost tour or visit a historic site. If they love art, walk around a museum for the day!
This type is a healthy combination of the researcher and the artist.
Date Night Ideas for ISTJS:
- Dinner and a movie
- Pack a picnic
- Take them to the beach or a park
- Visit a museum
Dating the INFJ
If you’re dating someone who identifies with the INFJs, you’ll know that, at their core, they’re looking for emotional intimacy and a strong connection with their partner. Because of this, you will want to ensure that any date you plan can be extended and that there is more than enough room for a deep and intimate conversation.
This is the quiet and gentle type on the Myers-Briggs test. These people will be fiercely devoted to you and endlessly optimistic.
These people value quality time over almost anything else, and they love to dissect what they see and experience afterward, so you might want to schedule an intimate dinner after any fun activity that you choose to do.
Date Night Ideas for INFJs:
- A paint and wine night
- Go on a train ride somewhere
- Visit a town you’ve never been to before
- A DIY photoshoot
- Attend a poetry reading
Dating the INTJ
If you’re looking for a partner who always wants to learn more and know everything they can about life and its complexities, you might be looking for an INTJ. These people lead with their intelligence and their logic in most scenarios.
But just because they’re logic-based doesn’t mean they’re not strong feelers either. If you’re dating an INTJ, they will pursue you wholeheartedly and love you constantly.
This type loves to have their brains tickled, so you might want to plan a more cerebral date. Visiting a museum, attending a speech, learning about some historical event that happened near you — all of these things would make the INTJ feel fulfilled and thought of.
Date Night Ideas for INTJs:
- A day at the museum
- A Library date
- Taking them to an old bookstore
- A historic house tour
- A night spent in a historic hotel
- Go to a wildlife center
- Attend a speech event
Dating the ENFJ
The ENFJ is dedicated to their partner, and they love to learn everything they can about their partners to better understand them. If you’re dating an ENFJ, they probably made you read this article so that you could also get on their level of understanding.
This type is the charmer and the people-pleaser of the Myers-Briggs personalities. They love social events, but they don’t love to compete. These people would have made excellent Christian camp counselors in every aspect of their life.
Because of their positive and joyful outlook on life, this type would enjoy a date night that is interactive and fun.
Date Night Ideas for ENFJs:
- Coffee and People watching
- A walk in the park
- Go to a class together
- Try something new, like painting or pottery
- Volunteer together
- Create a scavenger hunt for them
Dating the ESTP
This type is all about balance and ensuring that their lives aren’t too full of any one thing. Because the ESTP has a healthy mixture of their extroverted nature, perception, and logic-based thinking, they are the most go-with-the-flow people on the Myers-Briggs scale.
This type loves a bit of risk-taking, and they love to be thrilled by surprise dates. They will also make the best out of any situation, so if something doesn’t go as planned, they will likely be fine with it.
You can also change up the routine for ESTPs and let them take control if you aren’t sure what to do. They are adaptable to changes, and they’re okay if you need to make a few tweaks to the original plan in order to get the best date ever.
Date Night Ideas for ESTPs:
- Have a fancy night
- Go to the best restaurant in town
- Treat them like kings or queens
- Surprise them!
Dating the ISTP
Don’t let the ‘introverted nature of this type fool you. These are the adventure addicts of the Myers-Briggs (and we love them for that). These are the quiet people who want to take their time taking in the world around them but also experiencing some weird stuff.
Our best advice for you if you’re dating an ISTP is to plan your dates ahead and make sure that you’re not dilly-dallying or wasting any time, this type appreciates efficiency, and they will admire you for creating a well-thought-out dating experience.
Date Night Ideas for ISTPs:
- Rock climbing
- Taking a class at the gym together
- Going to a dance class together
- Visit a haunted asylum
- Go zip lining
- A thrilling adventure
Dating the ESFP
The ESFP is the entertainer on the scale. Many people who identify with this type love to put on a good show and make everyone feel at home. Tcharkhourain explains, “ESFPs’ energy and enthusiasm make them the life of any room they walk into.”
They feed off the energy in the room, and they love to make others happy.
Another thing that some couples might want to do when they’re in a relationship with an ESFP is to give back to the community. ESFPs are deep and emotional people who like to serve others, so many think about having a charity-focused night or spending their afternoon at the humane society volunteering.
Date Night Ideas for ESFPs:
- Take them to a coffee shop
- Go to an arcade
- Go and take photos around the city
- Go to a karaoke bar
- Volunteer work
Dating the ESFJ
This type is among the most motivated social thinkers and actors on the scale. These people love to connect to others, and they love places to be energetic, exciting, and entertaining.
The ESFJs are warm and happy people who don’t want to be in any kind of conflict with their partners and want to make everyone around them happy. Because of this, it’s fun to be in the center of the action and at the height of the party scene with your ESFJ partner.
Date Night Ideas for ESFJs:
- Have at least three activities on each date
- Keep them active
- Try a bike trail
- Go to a gallery opening.
- Go to a party
- Go on a hike
- Make sure that you have the agenda planned out
Dating the INFP
If you’re in a relationship with this romantic type, you’re in luck. These people love to see the good in others, and they love to test and stretch their partners so that they can see the good in everyone as well.
INFPs are poets and the philosophers of the Myers-Briggs, and they will often want to add some soul-searching into all of their date nights and interactions with you.
This type is calm and very laid back, so don’t try to do too many crazy things with them on your dates. Instead, just enjoy their presence.
Date Night Ideas for INFPs:
- Going for a walk around a park
- Waling through your city
- Take them to a garden
- Hang out at a rooftop bar
- Going window shopping
Dating the ESTJ
This type is the leader of any group they walk into. They have confidence, love to be around people, and organize all the goings on in the group. Because of this, a good idea for ESTJs would be to let them plan some of their date nights and let them set up the fun for themselves.
Tcharkhoutian describes this type as “A born leader who thrives in managing people hand situations. They are practical and goal-oriented, enjoying the details and finer things in life.”
If your partner is an ESTJ, they want to be shown off a little bit and bragged about. They work hard to appear a certain way and like it when they notice you noticing them.
Date Night Ideas for ESTJs:
- Having a group game night
- Organizing a potluck for their friends
- Murder mystery night
- Trivia night at your local bar
- Do an act of service for them
Dating the ENTJ
Another confident leader for the Myers-Briggs test, dating an ENTJ will make your life anything but boring.
One of the most important things you’ll want to keep in mind when you’re dating an ENTJ is that they don’t love when plans change at the drop of a hat or when you flake out on a plan you made a while ago. Even if that plan had to change in order to improve the date, it would upset the leader and planner in them.
Instead, make sure you’re going to a goal-oriented event for a date night. ENTJs love to have order and a sequence of events that they can follow and plan for, so make sure you’re thinking of that when planning a date.
Having a game night, anything with a bit of competition, or something with a clear start and end time is your best bet for your ENTJ date.
Date Night Ideas for ENTJs:
- Letting them make their own date
- Take them to a laser tag game
- Take them bowling
- Have an arcade day
Dating the INTP
These are some of the most logic-based thinkers of the Myers-Briggs type. But don’t let that worry you; they also constantly want to make deep connections with the people around them through their logic.
These people will more than likely ask everyone what their interests are and then do a deep dive into studying those specific interests, so the next time they see you, they can have an in-depth conversation with you about the things you like to talk about too.
Pro Tip: try to turn the conversation back onto them and ask them about the projects or passions they’re currently pursuing. This will make them light up and give them a lot of joy.
Try to keep these dates quiet if you’re going out with an INTP. A cozy coffee shop, a place to watch the world pass you by, and anywhere that might tickle the INTP’s intellectual side is always a good idea.
Date Night Ideas for INTPs:
- Going to the aquarium
- Going to the zoo
- Heading to the humane society to pet some animals
- Walking through a museum
- Go to a quiet bar with comfy seating
- Head to an intimate restaurant
This is the Myers-Briggs type that will be endlessly loyal to you. This type wants to promote chemistry with every single date they go on, and they want to come out of every interaction they have with you with a deeper connection and understanding of what makes you tick and who you are.
When you’re thinking about what kind of a date you would like to take this type on, remember that they want to connect with you and learn about you, so don’t shy away from places that could promote quiet and intimate conversations.
Date Night Ideas for ISFJs:
- Visiting a winery or a distillery
- Going on a tour of a candy shop or an old vineyard
- Heading to the local farmer’s market together
- Making a meal at home together.
- Netflix and chill
- Cook them their favorite meal
Dating the ENTP
This type is endlessly curious and energetic, making them some of the most exciting partners to date. The type is very intellectual, and they love to connect with their partners in many meaningful ways.
That being said, the ENTP is a planner to their core, so if you’re going to make a date happen, make sure you’ve thought about everything. Also, they don’t necessarily love ‘ordinary’ dates; instead, they want a hint of crazy in everything they do.
Try to think of something fun and original when planning a date for your ENTP. Make sure their creative and expressive spirit is reflected in the date, and make your time together an adventure!
Date Night Ideas for ENTPs:
- Finding the hottest bar and getting into it
- Going to a speakeasy
- Trying a new restaurant that people can’t stop talking about
- Go to a book reading
- Look at a museum exhibit
This type is also known as the adventurer of the Myers-Briggs types, so you’ll want to play to their adventuring nature.
Tcharkhoutain says, “ISFPs have a truly exploratory nature in which they love to discover new things and have new experiences.” She says, “They are charming and easy-going, attracting many potential dates to their agreeable and adventurous nature.”
When dating an ISFP, you’ll want to play to that nature and let them have fun with every date they go on. This can be something as out-of-pocket as planning a surprise island getaway to building a pillow fort at home and letting them eat all the good snacks.
Date Night Ideas for ISFPs:
- Going on a spontaneous hike
- A surprise trip to the beach
- A surprise weekend getaway
- Get artsy and start creating
- Always have music playing for them