Maybe dating and budgeting aren’t usually thought about as being closely connected, but should they be? After all, it can be expensive to date if you don’t meet the “one” or even someone you click with in the beginning. And if you’re on dating apps and go out with a lot of people? That can be cost-prohibitive, depending on your financial situation. That’s why there’s another new dating trend making the rounds, and it’s called affordating.
What is affordating, you ask? It’s a cute mashup of affordable + dating, and it’s a mindset shift that’s happening in cities, friend groups, and dating app chats all over the world.
With the cost of living going up (rent, higher prices for, well, everything now that the tariffs have hit) and a dating culture that expects you to wine and dine your dates with expensive outings, a lot of people are rethinking how they date. Sure, saving money is a part of it, but that’s not the whole point—people want to date more intentionally and be sustainable! And still have a reason to get dressed up.
Our affordating 101 guide will tell you everything that you need to know about how to keep the fun and romance alive and well without putting a strain on your bank account!
Why Affordating Matters
We don’t know why, but there has always been this weird, unspoken pressure that dating has to be super impressive. A trip to a city with a fancy dinner. A night at a dive bar that’s not really a dive bar but only looks like one for the aesthetic and serves $23 Moscow Mules in those silver cups. But in reality? That kind of spending isn’t realistic for most people, especially in 2025, when a trip to Trader Joe’s feels like it is a luxury.
Financially speaking, affordating takes a lot of that weight off your shoulders. When you’re not stressing out about how much a date is gonna cost you, you’re much more likely to be present, relaxed, and honestly? You’ll probably be (and have) more fun.
Emotionally, it’s super refreshing. Instead of being performative or trying to impress someone by how much you spend, the emphasis is back where it should be—on an actual connection. Are you having fun together? Do you have the same vibe? Those are the things that really matter, not the number on the bottom of the tab.
And culturally, we’re in the midst of a values reset. Most people care way more about thoughtfulness and way less about status symbols. Effort is more appreciated than empty financial gestures. Frugality isn’t something to hide, and a lot of people feel like it’s kind of hot to get in on this trend!
Budget-Friendly First Date Ideas
Even though first dates feel like you’re auditioning for the role of “I’m normal enough to bring home to your parents,” you don’t have to do all that over a seven-course meal at a Michelin-starred restaurant. You can (and should) keep it simple, especially on a first meet up! It’s also easier to connect without any distractions or a lot of undue pressure. The following are some ideas that are easy on your budget but are still intentional:
- Coffee Shop Meet-Ups: Casual, low-commitment, and you can get to know each other in a setting that was made for chatting.
- Local Parks or Scenic Walks: Some of the best conversations happen while you’re walking. And Mother Nature has a way of making everything feel calmer and grounded.
- Free Museum Days or Local Galleries: Art kicks off interesting convos, and walking around a gallery together will reveal way more about each other than a formal dinner ever could.
- Farmer’s Markets or Food Truck Visits: Browse, snack, talk—it’s like a little adventure in a super cute setting. You don’t have to spend a lot to enjoy the vibe and each other’s company.
- DIY Wine Tasting at Home or Virtually: You can grab some inexpensive wine while you’re at Trader Joe’s (they actually make really good wine), buy some mini-bottles, or take those bottles out of your pantry and have a wine tasting! You can see if you have a future career as a sommelier or if you actually don’t like wine.
Here’s a bonus tip: Set your expectations early on. Telling them that you’ve been into more of a low-key date thing lately will let them know where you are. Being upfront is sometimes scary, but it’s also an attractive quality that shows you know what you want and aren’t afraid to communicate that.
Creative Low-Cost Date Ideas for Ongoing Connections
So, you’ve made it past the first couple of dates, and you’re into each other. Look at you two! Now, how do you keep things fun without falling into an over-priced routine?
Below are some areas where you can get a little more creative:
- Cook Together Instead of Dining Out: Pick a recipe, grab the ingredients, and make a mess together. It’s fun, collaborative, and way cheaper than a restaurant.
- Game Night: Board games, card games, app-based trivia—whatever your thing is, it’s a playful way to spend time without scrolling or spending.
- Thrift Shopping or Flea Market Trips: Try setting a challenge: find the weirdest item under $5. You’ll end up laughing and maybe walk away with a random treasure.
- Community Events and Open Mics: Local events are so underrated. Open mics, poetry readings, and street festivals are all usually free or super cheap and are always full of character.
- Movie Night with a Twist: Don’t just throw any old movie on. Pick a theme! Make it a 90s night, bad B-horror movies, a mob flick, and then make some themed snacks to go with it. Or, you can just do popcorn, which is always the right pick for a movie.
Doing things together builds memories, even more than a dressed-to-the-nines night out. The goal isn’t to impress! Your ultimate goal is actually to get to know someone.
Communication Is Important
Money convos can get awkward fast, but they don’t always have to be. You don’t want to trauma dump or unload your whole financial situation! You just need to be clear about what kind of dating experience that you’re looking for.
You can be casual about it while still being honest by saying the following:
- “I’m on a budget lately, so I’ve been leaning into low-key dates.”
- “I actually really like simple stuff—it’s less pressure and a lot more fun.”
Pay attention to how they respond. Someone who gets excited about your picnic idea or picks the free museum day with you? That’s a keeper. Someone who rolls their eyes when you suggest anything outside of a 5-star restaurant? Not so much.
At the same time, effort still does matter. Cheap doesn’t mean that you should be lazy. If a date feels like it was thrown together, last-minute, or an afterthought, that’s a whole different issue. That could be a red flag that you should keep your eye on.
Affordating is thoughtful–all it does is skip the expensive wrapping paper and shiny bow on the top.
Dating App Tips for Affordaters
Dating apps are your BFF here! They make it so easy to meet people, but they can also create a kind of weird pressure to go big and go fast. Below are some practical tips on how to keep your approach grounded in reality:
- Look for People with Similar Values: Read between the lines in dating app bios. A person who mentions “quality time” or “love language: acts of service” is probably into experiences over extravagance.
- Suggest Local, Low-Key Meetups Early: Don’t wait three weeks to meet for that big dinner. Ask them to take a walk, meet up at a café, or have a bookstore hang. Simple meetups are low pressure, and you can back out more easily if the vibes are off.
- Skip the Over-the-Top First Impression Trap: You don’t need to plan something that’s elaborate just to “stand out.” Your personality already does that. Be your real self, keep it simple, and build up to the other stuff gradually.
Affordating Etiquette
Okay, it’s time to talk manners. Budget-conscious dating still means that you have to be considerate, but in a way that swaps out dollars for intention.
- Who Pays?: Don’t overthink this part! Going Dutch, aka splitting the bill, is the best way to do it. Alternating is a great plan, too. If one person covers it this time, the other can plan the next. And you aren’t keeping score or tabs—you are communicating.
- Small Gestures Matter: A handwritten note, a personalized playlist, or surprise cookies go way further than expensive gifts. It’s the kind of stuff people remember.
- Free, Meaningful Gestures: Bring them their favorite snack. Save them a seat at an event. Text them a good luck message before something important, or just to tell them that you’re thinking of them. Romance is free, and it costs nothing to be thoughtful.
Conclusion
You aren’t being cheap if you are affordating! And even if you are, who cares? You want to date and meet people without spending a mint doing it, and there is nothing wrong with that. If your date isn’t on the same page and wants something different? That’s fine! You found out early on that that person isn’t a good match for you. On to the next! You’ll find someone who is on the same page and doesn’t care about how much you spend on a date—they’ll appreciate that you are present, intentional with your money, and focused on what matters. And what truly matters is not how much you shell out on a date.
Interested in affordating? Pick one or two of the ideas we gave you and try them out! And if it goes well? We want to hear about it, so tag us on social media! We always want to know if what we recommend works out IRL.
