Dating! You meet someone, hang out, hang out some more, and then decide to get engaged. You get married, have kids and two dogs, and then live happily ever after? Doesn’t it sound like fun?
Isn’t that supposed to be how it happens? Well, if it is, most people are way off course. In a perfect world, two people would meet and decide to be together, and that would be the end of it. However, in the United States, over fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. So, where did we go wrong?
In the old days, guys used to “call on” girls by asking their parents for permission to date. Then he would pick her up and take her to the sock hop, Ye Olde Malt Shoppe, or wherever.
Stop right there! I hate to break it to you, but it’s not that straightforward anymore. Instead of meeting up at the library or for lunch, you swipe right on your favorite dating app.
Instead of going out on a date, you text or hook up for months, sometimes years, without any idea of your relationship’s status. It’s not necessarily a bad thing; it’s just modern times. If you’re brand new to dating, online memes sum everything up for you. Check out 10 of the funniest dating memes of all time.
1. “I told a girl to text me when she got home. She must be homeless.”
Guys, you need to understand that we can have an awesome time on the first date.
You can bring us flowers, buy dinner at a gourmet restaurant and even end the evening with a thank-you gift. But that doesn’t mean we want a second date.
In her defense, maybe she was too tired and forgot to text by the time she got home. And if it’s been a few days, maybe she’s still tired, maybe, ya think?
Technically, you should’ve seen this coming when she stopped you in your tracks when you went in for the kiss, so I blame you. Sorry, fellas.
2. “I want a girl who loves long romantic walks. Because I don’t have a car or any money.”
Wow! I feel like women are being labeled as gold diggers here.
However, it could just be that you’re broke, have no money, and we wouldn’t give you the time of day because, well, you have no money!
On a serious note, plenty of women don’t mind if a guy doesn’t have a car to drive them around in or cash to spend on them.
They prefer a sensitive guy who shares their feelings and spends evenings gazing at the stars. Unfortunately, I’m not that woman, so buh-bye!
3. “When a girl replies, ‘Awww, thanks,’ it means she’s politely asking you to return to the friend zone that you just tried to escape from.”
Guys, if you ever hear those words, start looking for another girl now because she ain’t interested!
However, if she had responded, “Omigod! I love this, thank you so much,” and sealed her appreciation with a big fat kiss, you would have been working on your third child already. See the difference:
“Awww, thanks” = Get away from me, you loser
“Omigod! I love this, thank you so much” = I’m going to mount you later tonight.
4. “When my married friends keep insisting on setting me up with their “single friends” (Please don’t throw garbage at me)
Rest assured; they’re not trying to get you hitched because they feel sorry for you.
Instead, they’re setting you up with their single friends because they need a fourth couple for game night.
So, suck it up and take one for the team.
5. “When you’re single you can’t be dating the wrong person”
Hmmmm, that’s kind of like saying when you have no money, you can’t be stressed out and anxiety-ridden because you have no job.
In either circumstance, it sucks.
6. “Your profile is great. You’re pretty. You’re sexy, You’re great to chat to. So now I’m going to block you.”
It’s a sad time when we can’t go online and have a great conversation with someone who thinks we’re pretty and sexy without them thinking we’re catfishing, so they have to block us.
However, it’s an even sadder time when we can’t go online and upload a totally fake pic so we can trick them into thinking we’re pretty and sexy.
7. “Me giving relationship advice to my friends while I’m the most single person ever” (Honey, let me impart some wisdom on you)
We all have that one single friend who knows it all when it comes to dating.
When you ask why they are still single, they tell you:
‘I’m not into dating anyone right now because I’m working on me.’
Okay, I’m that person, and yes, I really am working on myself, so mind your own business.
8. “When you’re on the first date and he says “it’s nice to finally meet a girl who’s not crazy”
In my head, I’m thinking, how long should I wait to show him?
One day, four days a week?
HOW MUCH LONGER CAN I BOTTLE THIS UP?
9. “I’m really excited about our date. I’ve been saving up all week for it.”
As the woman in this scenario, this is what I should say: “I am so insulted.
I can’t believe you actually said that to me as if expecting something sexual was going to happen tonight.
I don’t know how you have the audacity to believe that I was that type of girl.
This is goodbye, and don’t ever call me again, Mister!”
This is what I actually say: “Check, please!”
10. Me on first dates (Sorry I’m not better looking)
Sometimes I can’t understand why we don’t love ourselves more, but then I forget that there are so many images of “perfect” people that we’re expected to look like if we want fame and money.
It’s easy to tell someone to love themselves, but it can be depressing when they’re not getting the same perks that people who look a certain way do.
So rise above all that and start doing things to help raise your confidence.
You may not have a ton of plastic surgery, but you don’t need it, and guess what?
You still look awesome!